Tramp

Tramp??? That word gets taken out of context or misused when men don't get what they want or are getting what they want from a women. You are a tramp if you are with your intentions, your a tramp when you aren't, etc. It isn't that a woman doesn't know what she wants or is spiritually a mess, it's that you aren't providing and being true with your own intentions. A woman doesn't need a man to support her (would be nice because that is a true relationship), a woman doesn't need a man to be promiscuous (tramp) to get what she wants when now a days most jobs are open to women and not just men. However, I been accused of doing just that even though I've held my own for years. At the end of it all I know that my intentions don't make me a tramp. I know I paid for what I needed and made the decisions that needed to be made. I know that the choices I've made have been stupid ones but you can't take those choices back. You have to grow from them.

Over the last couple of years it has stuck with me. As I reread a message from a so-called friend I'm realizing more and more that I've grown. As a person I need to grow and remind myself that my past doesn't define me. The man who called me a "tramp" didn't even know all the facts, that man didn't know what he wanted and wasn't honest about just wanting a "booty call", and that man has made me realize that most men and playing mind games.

People are using the internet to hook up or tell lies. No one is looking for a serious relationship which would lead to marriage. I've learned over the years that most men are out to hook up or scam you. I've walked away with the knowledge to know I deserve better and can do better. Any woman can do better and should never let a man disrespect her . As women we need to learn when enough is enough. We need to learn our worth and just keep pushing forward when a rotten apple crosses our path. Take the lessons learned and choices made and apply them to the future ahead.

To this day the word "tramp" still bothers me but that is because I never asked a man for anything except "what type of relationship do we have", not knowing there is consequences to that question. I've never once asked for money; which is what a prostitute or tramp would do. All I've asked for is time. The lesson I am walking with now is that when the right man comes along I will be able to tell if their genuinely honest from the start and that things said are coming from the heart. It will take a lot of searching and in order for that to happen I've also learned that I need to search my own heart before I begin letting another in.

However, it doesn't change that the word "tramp" lingers and lingers in the back of my mind. Constantly I am thinking, "where did I go wrong?" Over and over again I replay it all when in all reality I need to let it all go. I need to find center peace with all the mistakes I've made. My reason for sharing my thoughts on this matter it to share my experience and a little bit of advice. So, to all the women out there who are struggling like me just remind yourself that you can recover. You are capable of love and will find the one. Give yourself time and keep learning from your mistakes. Don't let the word "tramp" define who you are. No one really knows the person you are.

At the end of the day just continue being you. No one else can love you more than you can love yourself. Put yourself first in most situations. Know that there are still gentlemen out there looking for a decent, wonderful, trustworthy, and honest woman. Give them time to find you. Don't chase after something that isn't meant to be. You will only waste time!