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The start of a new chapter

by Merjaunie Lena 4 months ago in how to
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Only the beginning

The start of a new chapter
Photo by v2osk on Unsplash

I haven’t really been active writing on here or at all. I’ve neglected it so much, but I am back, and I’m better than ever. See life happened to me which just really unmotivated me, and I was so caught up in my own head and my feelings it just wasn’t a good time for me, but hey we all have our days right? As long as we don’t sit there stuck in the past or in that moment we will be alright.

I always have moments like that, but I always come back 10x stronger and 100x more happier. I feel like instead of ignoring our actual feelings, and what our bodies are telling us why not let ourselves just feel everything that we need to feel to move past it. You need to allow yourself to feel these emotions and allow yourself to cry, yell, say something otherwise you will never overcome your true feelings believe me I learned that the hard way. You need to feel and let these emotions come out one way or the other to let all that negative energy flow out of your system to be able to allow more positivity into your body, mind, and soul. Think about it after a good cry we feel better, or after finally addressing something that’s been bugging us we feel a weight lifted right. That’s because we are allowing ourselves to express everything we need to express, and well it took me some time to do what I had to do to be where I am at now mentally.

I’ve allowed all this hurt, anger, depression, sadness, toxicity flow out of my body by crying and speaking up about what was in my mind, and I kid you not I always ended up feeling so much better after. Not only because I allowed myself to feel these emotions, but because I stood up for myself and what I believe I deserved for myself. I genuinely want to be happy, and lately I feel that way all because I put myself and my emotions first. You cannot function properly if you don’t allow yourself to truly express how you feel or if you’re not putting your peace and yourself first you will not be happy. Doesn’t matter what it is ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOURSELF FIRST. That doesn’t make you selfish it makes you more powerful than you think. The more you put yourself first about anything the less other peoples opinions, actions, comments whatever it is will matter less I promise you that. Until one day you really won’t give a shit about what used to bug you, and then only then will you realize this is what true happiness feels like.

It’ll feel like a new beginning, you will feel more positive and less negative. Those negative thoughts you used to have don’t even matter anymore because you’ve matured in a way that you thought couldn’t happen. But it has and you will never feel more happy than you do in this moment when those petty comments, actions, rumors don’t even phase you anymore. Those silly things that you used to think mattered doesn’t matter anymore and you couldn’t feel more relieved. That day will come for you because it has for me, and I used to think that I would never be able to feel this way, it’s been a long time coming but I’m so glad I did what I had to do to get here, and I hope one day you’ll find your peace and happiness mentally, physically, and spiritually because in the end it will always be worth it.

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About the author

Merjaunie Lena

My public journal

You will feel like you know me personally by reading my journal or at least the emotions I've felt.

I write to express, and clear my head, it's my therapy.

It's not perfect, but nothing is

Thank you for reading!

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