Rest Resolution

I've often made the mistake that a New Year's resolution requires self-improvement, that somehow a drastic change would better my life. But change for the sake of change isn't healthy, nor does it last for too long. The same is true if we change solely for the sake of others, as it becomes counterproductive. So in this upcoming New Year, we should seek to add the things that will improve or better our lives.

These last two years were a time of many difficulties, one that we were not prepared for. We experience pain and loss with great abundance, still nowhere near from recovering from it. So it only makes sense that we hope that the New Year will be kinder, and we can help facilitate that by being gentler on ourselves. So my resolution is to cuddle more often, adding that as a part of my life's routine.

We live in a world filled with noise, one much louder than our parents. But these noises aren't sound, but the mindless self-indulgence brought forth by technology. We worry about the lives of others rather than our own, paying attention to things that won't help sustain us. We need to take a rest from these noises, the constant nagging in our heads. But rest doesn't particularly mean sleep, but a momentary break of silence to reenergize.

Cuddling is my solution to these noises, as being held and losing myself in touch quiets the noises. Cuddling provides a momentary sanctuary for peace, allowing me to alleviate my stress. It also promotes recovery, growth, and overall well-being of mind, body, and soul—Like any other form of relaxation, no different from yoga, mediation, or taking a nap. And if quarantine taught us anything, it was that we humans were not meant to be solitary. We yearn to touch and be touched, as the warmth of others is equivalent to the heat of the sun.

Scientifically, the power of cuddling helps increase oxytocin, which makes us feel physically affectionate. It's the warm fuzzy feeling we get when we are loved and appreciated, the same emotions we receive from forming intimate connections with others. This is precisely why we instinctively hug when we feel down, as we are programmed to seek comfort.

I know not many of us are fortunate enough to have a relationship, as dating in itself is as rough as the last two years have been. But relationships and cuddling can be mutually exclusive, and both can exist separately. Just like a hug can be given from a friend, so too can a cuddle.

In recent years, platonic cuddling has been something of a trend. There is a significant online presence of enthusiasts, all searching for the therapeutic power of cuddling. It may feel awkward and a bit absurd, cuddling with strangers. But eventually, you build connections and even find a partner or "cuddle buddy."

During the pandemic, I visited many communities. I scheduled with different cuddlers, slowly improving my cuddling skills with each session. After months of searching, I was lucky enough to find someone I connected with. Throughout the Summer, the relationship shifted from strangers to friends. However, it is not a traditional friendship, but primarily of two people who share a mutual enjoyment and fulfillment of cuddling.

Cuddling is also an excellent way to escape loneliness, as we all struggle to recover from our self-imposed isolation in 2020. Through cuddling, I was able to recapture my social skills. After being alone for almost a year, it was hard to engage in an in-person social setting. Sometimes the simple act of being held speaks volumes, better than any words can do. And as winter continues on the east coast, scheduling a weekly cuddle is as natural as coffee in the morning.