Memories: 25 May 2023

25 May 2023

It’s been a journey and lots of challenges. I lost a prong when attempting setting it so I had to deconstruct and re-solder not one but two prongs. It’s rustic (rough as guts!) and while setting it the second time just now I lost the only embellishment I had left. Wahhh!

But it has four prongs. I also added the Rock crystal pendants (which now have firescale as I had to put them on ice several bleeping times - about four times) to solder the jumprings shut.

I hate jumprings..soooo much.

But I shall wear this piece with happiness and pride. I stuck with it. Even when bits melted and I freaked out.

Here she is…little Aussie (Queensland) Boulder Opal and me. Together as wearable art after 30 years lying around in my crystal collection.

Lol!

Never give up on anything or anyone and never quit.

Greetings from Titania’s Realm. @titaniasrealm on instagram.

The gods might be crazy and so am I but loving this new silversmithing journey. (Even with the epic you know what ups!)

25 May 2022

Today I made my first metal stamp, inspired by a video by Rio Grande with a tutorial by Matthieu Cheminée. I had thought it was beyond my skill set but I found it quite easy and enjoyable. Tomorrow I will attempt to temper the steel.

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WTAF????? It must be on a big block of land. Outrageous pricing nevertheless. I would have to win a very large lotto to ever be able to afford my own home again. A fucking travesty! Especially as I was scalped of several homes by family members in my lifetime. Evil dirty bastards!

Only two men in my life wanted me to prosper (own my own home!). My grandfather Alfred Abraham Phillips who gifted me the land on Waiheke Island (my mother stole that!) and my father in law Harry Arons who gifted me not one but two houses by the time I was 23 years old (my ex husband -Blech- divested me of those and our business).

So I must not writhe in bitterness but be grateful for all the good that comes my way, for the agape love, for the sweetness and kindness of strangers and for my determination to thrive even at this very late, very vulnerable time of my life.

Courage, heart and blessings are upon me. I need only ride my bliss blitz to its penultimate conclusion and reap joy and abundance when they visit me in benevolent holy kind utterances. Amen v’selah! :-)

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It’s true. Sparkle sparkle, you clump of hot carbon you! Rise and shine and DEIFY. “I defy”. I need to make that into a t shirt.

25 May 2021

11:11am. My angels are smiling!

Lyn is on her way over to visit me. Yayy!

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10:21am I woke up as I do every day with pain across my rib cage, my intercostal muscles across my diaphragm are aching. The pain soon eases once I am up and about (and breathing properly).

Today I have to vacuum and mop the floors and maybe if I can summon the motivation, wash the dust off all the furniture.

I have a housing inspection tomorrow. Plus the new lawn mower man is arriving at 8 am. So I need to get organised.

On Friday at 8:20 am (Jesus!!!) I have an appointment at QE2 hospital for another colonoscopy. Shit happens. But does it have to keep happening to me? I will have to get up early and fight through peak hour traffic and fight to get a park. Yuck!

I suspect the actual procedure will be booked on the next few weeks to a month. I dread it. It truly is dreadful! It takes me up to two months to recover from each one!

Oh well that is my morning woes for the day. My hands ache as I made 5 more bangles yesterday. It’s hard work grinding all the edges where I cut off the brass edging smooth. Hardly worth my time as I doubt they will even sell or I can charge much for them. Hours and hours of work go into them.

But then what else would I be doing to avoid actual housework? (Snigger)

I think I might get back into making faeries again as I enjoyed it and it was kinder to my hands. Although I did not sell any of them, I figure they will make quirky displays for my witchy/faery shop I am manifesting in my imagination.

25 May 2020

25 May 2019

Wow. I woke up this morning feeling intensely powerful after many very vivid dreams last night. The Byron “Magic” is still with me 😉.

It’s another stunning late morning and I am grateful for my tiny place in the universe 🙂.

The garden is sparkling with sunbeams and there is a zephyr stirring the black bamboo leaves. It’s like Gaia is saying “Hello, good morning, Blessed be!” Just adorable.

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I could get lost in such exquisite beauty. Such joy melts my heart and I realise why, sometimes, it is good to be alive.

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Just saw 1:11 pm, earlier 10:11 am. What is the Holy One aka The Multiverses trying to say to me? Perhaps I am in perfect alignment with my mission on earth except I don’t exactly know what that is.

I am just making it up as I go along, breathing, occasionally laughing in the face of my absurdist life and occasionally swearing and sweating the small stuff.

Living life passionately and choosing to honour myself and Truth and my reality every day. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.

Facing my daemons and flying with my angels (you know who you are!) in my weird little fat Hobbit body as I heal from all my sacred and profane ignominy and horror bestowed upon me from birth.

The rising and the shining has begun yet again. I am going to be okay!

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I bathed the Beau as he was salty and sandy from yesterday’s blissful swim and romp at Belongil Beach. Then I partially blow dried him. He was not impressed with my efforts so I comforted him with a Schmacko. Then Mama T was redeemed from the curses of the dog! 🙂

Now resting on my bed as it was an effort. My T-shirt is wet from the excess splashing in the Laundry tub. But I have a clean and contented dog now.

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Sewerage is leaking....again. The drainers are on the way within 4 hours. They won’t be able to do much in the dark. So no doubt will have to come back tomorrow.

25 May 2018

Curious and curiouser. The times, they are a-changing.

25 May 2017

10.37 am. Been awake for a while. Better get up! I have a massive craving for chocolate but none in the house. I ate an entire packet of chocolate biscuits for breakfast yesterday. Very baddddd! Lmao!

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I had a wonderful day and night yesterday. It was such a warm day that I took Beauregard and Charlie for a long walk in the forest behind me.

Then I had my usual debrief and my psychiatrist (when I told him I had blocked Crystal as I had told her I wanted PRESENCE not presents, nor lies, manipulation) informed me that I had spoken intelligently and rationally, that I was not Crazy and in the past 12 months had done better without medications than I had ever been when on them so her assertion that I am sick was totally evil and reprehensible.

Also blackmailing me with unborn children and accusing me (this was even more bizarre!) of enslavement was too much, too insane for me to deal with.

So I left feeling relieved and still bereft at having to divorce my last remaining child or core family member.

Then Lyn came over and we went for dinner and to Yarn: storytelling at Black Bear Lodge.

Lyn's daughters had given money to shout Lyn and myself a night out as a Mother's Day/Birthday gift for Lyn and me. How gorgeous!

Thank you for your kindness, Melissa and Danni and Tracey. We had a lovely time.

So in the midst of my grief over one of my own flesh, my beautiful friends and their daughters rallied together to inspire, support and comfort me.

I am loved, valued and cared for by many wonderful Souls, human and non-human and I am grateful and happy.

Those who neglected/abandoned or abused me will never know what they missed out on. They are mostly dead now and the few living ones have already passed from my life like shucked husks. Leaving me raw and broken but I will fucking blossom again. That is what The Tanya does best. Rebirths.

25 May 2016

1.44 pm I just bathed Bobo the clown bastard in the bath. He fought me, bit me a few times. But he is getting better at bathies. He was absolutely filthy with dried blood from bones around his 'beard' and dust from dust bathing at the dog park.

I have also planted out the bergamot, in the aquaponics pond as they like wet feet. Also pennyroyal, in front garden between my mosaic feet. Also borage in front of aquaponic bath. Looks very nice. Let's hope they flourish!

Bobo just vomited on the rug. So mad dash to clean that up while writing this post. It is one of THEM days!

Next thing is an appointment with Dr Ross at 3 pm. If Beau is dry by then I will take him along.

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10.23 pm. I have been outside, filling the chook troughs up, giving them some shell grit. I put another bell fountain on pond number 4. Checked on aquaponic pond. All very good.

I put Beauregard to bed. Tricked him into his crate with a Schmacko. Lol! He was manically chasing Mushu around while I was outside. I am utterly exhausted today. Not sure why as I have been keeping busy.

So I have a sore neck and a tired body so I think I will go to bed early.

I have an appointment with my optometrist tomorrow. I have to wear my reading glasses to see now. Not cool!

Anyway, this aging myopic sex kitten is going to sleep. Laila Tov!

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25 May 2015

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2.33 am. Crystal is leaving on a jet plane.

My heart aches and it was all a mad last minute rush to the very end. She was unpacking and repacking even at the airport. Oyyy!

Jarrod saved the day, hiring a trailer and brought the big items to my place.

We just got back from airport. I feel emotionally wrung out like being squeezed through the wringer of an ancient washing machine.

I told Crystal to take a valium for the flight as she was quite distressed.

Her beautiful friends came from Toowoomba to see her off and gave her some lovely gifts.

My house has been shell-shocked with Crystal's stuff everywhere. It will take me weeks to get everything properly stored and organised.

A mother is always the last one to be left holding the baby lol!

I got through this day without having a breakdown. The tears started to flow quite involunteerily but in the end Europe will be good for her and I will only have myself to worry about now. To the next adventure!

25 May 2014

Utterly exhausted! I had dinner with Jarrod and tomorrow Crystal, Jarrod and I are going on a road trip. I am having an awesome time, in spite of my frustrations with potential partners.

Thank god for my daughter and my friends and their awesome pets. Last night I slept with Zeus, Hercules, and Sarah. Zeus guards me on my side of the bed and loves me utterly. Hercules lies at my feet. They are both Bichon Frise.

Harvey the foxy came over for dinner to visit his Auntie Tanya. He could smell Zeus and Hercules. I had to tell him I was seeing other dog-gods. He was momentarily miffed (or whiffed!) then settled down to quality Aunty time for snuggles. I love all our fur (and feather) children! Huge blessings!

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Just got home from sleeping over at Sarah's. I was too tired to get up and go to Panayiri with her. So she went alone 😞. I am in a lot of pain in my feet. 3 nights dancing is too much for me.

I met a young policeman, a former bf of George the Busker's daughter. George told him to hang out with me at the pub. Arrgh. He found me later in the night and was a handful.

He danced nicely at first, then proceeded to constantly grab at my boobs. A real Oaf. Might as well have lived in a Swamp and called himself Shrek. I got very annoyed after a while. He was such a mess.

His friend danced with my Sarah and afterwards we had supper at Pancake Manor and he was lovely. Such a gentleman. The world of difference. He got Sarah's number and I really approved. Hopefully something lovely will develop for them both!

25 May 2013

Heading home. Weird sort of night. Wild winds made me a tad irritated. Or was it the drunks? Or the waxing, almost Full Moon?

25 May 2012

"Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so Hard?" Paul Simon. I hear you, Brother!

25 May 2010

Same shit different day.

25 May 2009

My first (astounding) breakthrough of genuine happiness! After decades of major depression some bubble burst in my psyche. It was quite wonderful!:

Just another Manic Monday....don't mention Friday, Saturday or Sunday LOL

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Monday monday ooooh oooh ooh oh ohhhhh gees it wasn't what I thought it was gonna be cracked up to be...proof that what goes UP must come DOWNNNNNN. I hope my mood goes up again tomorrow...it was kind of cool being happy for three days even if I was constantly talking and elevated.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons