Memories: 21 May 2023

21 May 2023

https://youtu.be/r-eaqpu5sl8

https://youtu.be/PqtfqGIKSTk

https://youtu.be/NhgTvJocWxU

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Not well. I had a mug of mullein tea which upset my system because I accidentally drank the lees. Instant vomiting attack. Ugh. My poor lungs (and oesophagus!). It’s a living!

21 May 2022

3:12 am home from a great night of dancing. My feet hurt now but I am tucked up in bed, listening to the rain, and grateful for my freedom and Joie de Vivre.

The two biopsies in my shoulder blade are hurting quite a bit, but I am glad that I pushed myself out to go dancing. I had felt tired all day but the dancing did me the power of good. A much needed catharsis.

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I am pontificating if I should go dancing again. I slept most of the day after last night’s efforts. It’s raining and I feel isolated but I also need to be wary of over-exerting myself.

I don’t feel like being alone this evening but being alone is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact it makes for positive exponential growth (time to think, time to process, and time to value human interactions when they come my way!)

Time…is on my side and attitude is everything. 🙂

21 May 2021

Mowing problem solved for now. The man arrived and quoted $60 which was less than he originally quoted over the phone. I am soaked with waves of relief. But... I still need to save up $5k so I can buy my own ride on and get off the cyclic wheel of distress that is dealing with contractors.

He’s coming to mow on Wednesday or Thursday. I need to sit down and breathe.

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21 May 2019

My new toilet seat arrived! It’s been over 6 months sitting on the broken one. Alas I am struggling to undo the plastic wing nuts on the old seat. I have slathered them and the bolts with WD40 but still not coming off.

G-d, why does everything need to be so bloody difficult? I will probably have to buy new hardware for the new seat as the old bolts are rusty. Annoying!

However on a bright note it will be nice to have a funky new toilet seat that doesn’t try to throw you off like a bucking bronco. Less embarrassing for when I have guests too.

Ahhh the sweet disdain of poverty. I had to glue one of the stoppers back on to the new seat too. Too much hassle to send it back.

I am still waiting on the refund from PayPal as the first seat I bought got cancelled by the seller.

Who would have thought that buying a toilet seat was going to be such an almighty struggle. A bit shitful!

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I needed a man or woman with an angle grinder to get the fucking hardware off the old toilet seat. It took me ages to struggle with it to get them off. Now lathered in sweat and furious with my constant struggles. But Psy Sighs. It’s off, at last.

Now to attach the new seat and start my life again. New loo seat, new comfortable commode, commodities. Life would be easier if we all Shat in the woods like Bears. Alas...my dignity!

What did Keating once say? Life isn’t meant to be easy. I bet he never swapped over a toilet seat in his life.

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Watching “Catch-22” on Stan. I read the book by Joseph Heller, as a teenager. Very funny book. I also liked his other book “God Knows”.

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Get ready Byron Bay. Mama T is a-coming!!!! 3 more sleeps and a few nanny naps and I will be in my favourite sacred space. Yayyy! (I need to paddle in the sea and clear my aura right now!)

21 May 2017

I have spent the morning (albeit in a lot of pain) changing the water in my aquaponics pond as I have sick fish again. I also repotted a waterlily and put it back in the pond. Lots of mucking around trying to adjust the water. Hope the fish survive. The Angel of death has been hovering around, with a dead possum last week and now my fish.

My friend has an aunt in the process of dying. Another hard day for them. I pray her an easy passing.

Life is such a difficult process when it ends. But we close our eyes in one reality and wake up in another. Or so I believe/hope/pray. After this life I would quite welcome endless Oblivion. But you know the gods have other plans.

Dear G-d and gods! Please keep any former enemy from my childhood/marriage etc far away from me. I am done with all of those scurrilous curs. I welcome true loves, happiness, good health and prosperity into my consciousness Now. The past has nothing new to teach me except bloodletting of old wounds.

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I ask and I receive. Grateful for the gifts of love, medicine, friendship, loving kindness, from my humans, non-humans and my angels. Blessed be the Holy One who sustains me and brings me to this season of synchronous miracles. Thank you for the healing :-)

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In a lot of pain in my lower back today. Grrr! I stayed home last night and rested, hoping I would feel better today but my body has other plans.

It is another gorgeous day. I am sitting in the garden with my Beau and Charlie but will go back to lie down soon.

I will source another cage for Charlie so I don't have to lift his cage outside each day. I don't know how I hurt my back this time. Just annoying!!!

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I had a lovely afternoon with Jenny and Brendan, drinking coffee and sharing stories. Jenny made me a hot water bottle for my back. Feeling much loved. Thanks guys x

21 May 2016

5.02 am home from a wonderful night dancing at the Casino. Ramjet played. On my way out the door, validating my parking I met a couple. The husband was called Chris. He had Hebrew writing on his neck so I asked him about it. To serve and protect, it said. I said. "Well Chris, I am very hard to impress but I am truly impressed".

Then he pulled up his shirt and from his belly up to his chest he had a tattooed Tree of Life with the Hebrew names of the sephirot. Then he turned his back and he had two massive angel's wings with Micheal in Hebrew above them.

Either side of his throat he had the cherubim that guard the ark of the covenant and at his throat he had the chalice of the Holy Grail.

I said "Chris, you are heavily protected! Are you Jewish?"

"No”, he said, “Catholic". I asked his wife if she was Jewish or if they were Messianics?She said No but they studied Angelology.

I said "Well Chris. You can do no wrong. But stay away from me, mate. I keep falling in love with men who think they are angels. More like Dark Angels: Angels of wrath and vengeance, as they break my bloody heart." He laughed.

I had my long-sleeved tunic on, so I was unable to show him my tattoo of the Burning Bush with Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh underneath it. I told him it means I am That I am. G-d's name.

Funny thing is I have been seeing 11's all day (Angel signs) then met Chris with his angel's wings and Tree of Life.

Wow. That was a huge sign that I am on the right path. Awesome!

Terina Edwards: Only you can break that cycle Tanya xx

Me: Yeah well. I boldly go where no man woman or child has gone before. I too have one of G-D's most potent Names tattooed on my arm. An initiation into my re-Creation as a woman/witch/Viking warrior Valkyrie/ Jew. Always a Jew. Chosen.

My life has been very fraught but G-D in His own sweet non-human timing…A little too late at times….Has always brought me through. I am meant to be here.

Julie, who came to save me last August after I decided to leave this earth, was badgered by spirit to come and check on me and called the Police and Ambos and even told them not to smash down my door but see if I would respond first. Which eventually I did.

Only I was in a fugue state so I don't remember coming to the door, out of the bath, butt naked, opening the door for them or being dressed by Julie or being taken arm in arm to the ambulance. Or even most of my day in the ED department. lol.

It is amazing how the mind protects itself. Sending electro-magnetic signals out to whomever can pick up on them.

Of course I can be a bit of an angel too. A dark one if people try to harm me. But I know G-D wants me here and when I met that man last night, his eyes shining with happiness when I told him he was heavily protected. I knew. He is one of my tribe.

The broken, reborn into something spiritually magnificent. The ordinary life has never been our calling. We are the Fools who leapt into the abyss, down the rabbit hole, and survived to tell the story. But what the Bleep do I know. We are still on the journey to ultimate Wisdom and perhaps Nirvana.

Terina Edwards: You certainly have

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I am humbled and grateful and often downright mystified to be living in such incredible times. A world that has made such amazing advances in science and technology. Bio-glass to heal fractured or crushed cartilage. A product to quell bleeding.

Social and environmental consciousness raising, of which the most profoundly marvellous is the screaming torment of thousands if not millions of children, past and present are finally being heard, validated and in some cases, seeing Justice in the courts.

For those of us, forgotten broken bodies and minds that had to raise ourselves up from Child sexual abuse and many varied other forms of abuse and neglect, the justice we so yearn for, may never materialise in this life but we can hope that there is some kind of reward for us.

Some kind of peace and a great embracing comforting Love that never turns its face from us. Perhaps spiritual or earthly or even a love we have exuded from within our deepest most intimate and most unattainable core.

A love we had to allow to blossom inside our very souls. Enough to nourish us in our pain, our sorrow and our striving; for freedom, for safety, for peace, for comfort, safely held in the arms of those most precious to us.

We walk this earth but once (upon a time in the Gilgulim of reincarnation) but what do we take with us? Our heart, our Light and our essence.

Perhaps on the other side, even our memories which will be weighed and then either honoured as gifts of growth and beauty or discarded like an old snake skin, suddenly after a physical life, irrelevant. Just washed away.

I hope when my time finally comes, I will have only the very best of life's experiences to shine through my spirit. To dance and rise and shine in the eternal embrace of Love. For nothing else matters.

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Still exhausted from last night but Karen is on her way over and we are meeting Jo for another night out. Oh my.

I am also really looking forward to seeing Alice Through the Looking Glass this Thursday. What's new, Pussycat? Neither here nor there but everywhere. Meow!

21 May 2014

I posted Hilda and Crystal's photo again, so you can see the similarities. Hilda had big luscious dimples!

21 May 2013

Living in interesting times. I had a great weekend being generally avoidant after the Ueber Creeps I attracted the previous week. So been mulling over my life.

Might have to spice it up like Mulled Wine (Gluewein), pull up my bootstraps and keep Calm but keep going!

My doctor tells me there is a Dearth of Love for people in their 40s - 50's age bracket as the Internet has made dating and sexuality in general so very disposable.

I blame it on the Pill generation - all those extra hormones creating a generation or 2 of weak men unable or unwilling to connect with, support, protect or maintain longterm relationships with women.

For whatever reason sadness and loneliness is the outcome for people in my age group.

21 May 2011

So bored, bored bored, bored did I mention bored. Thinking about starting my knitting I was going to start in winter cos I am cold and bored. I am also craving chocolate....again after I devoured a whole block of cooking chocolate for breakfast (actually everyone else's lunch!) this morning… lol my morning, your 12.30pm lol. It's a life!

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I can't wait to pay off my new gold Gypsy earrings I have on layby! They are outstanding. Then I need those purple boots, a corset, a swirly gypsy skirt, my long awaited tattoos, and I'll be in heaven, and certainly revelling in my new look!

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A bah humbug sorta day, waiting to see if the Meshuggeneh Goyim got it right this time if this is my last day on Earth. If so, it was a bored day. Apart from a short spell in the garden.

My last day on earth and that Jesus Man wants to rain on my fucken Parade. I know for a fact it won't happen. I'm a believer in the Master of the Universe, not the shadow puppet!

21 May 2010

I've emailed my completed Timeline, which took me several weeks to wade through because I found it so emotionally unhinging. Oh well, it's all done now, just might have to answer questions on it or add details and then my lawyer can use it to formulate my Affadavit.

Wooohoooo! I feel like I am slowly chipping away at all this horror and can see it ending soon.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons