Let's Talk About The Boss's Childhood

Childhood has a strong impact on each of us. Childhood feelings, the relationship between parents and children, communication and how certain actions were imposed on us (intellectual, playful, or taking over certain tasks), the desire for appreciation from the child, the parent's reaction to the child's need for love, all these mark our childhood and say their word in the life of the adult later.

The general perception we have of managers is a template. Almost involuntarily, we associate the image of the manager with that of strong people, of people who succeed in what they set out to do and who enjoy success, especially professionally.

A successful manager often has well-developed interpersonal, informational, and decision-making skills, their evolution starting in childhood, continuing through adolescence and so-called youth, and reaching its peak at adulthood.

But perfection was not invented even for the most capable managers. And they are selfish, trying to get the most out of their benefits, and they can be generous in making decisions that benefit others or organizations, and they can have qualities and flaws, many of which have their point. starting in childhood.

The defects of the managers derive from the experiences lived in childhood and in the complexes they had during this period. Here are some of the main flaws of managers that have their origins in childhood and how they influence the manager's leadership style.

Limited freedom in childhood / High appetite for risk in adulthood - Some managers have extraordinary performance if we refer strictly to professional skills and innate instinct for business. They live the joy of their success to the fullest, they love to take risks when it comes to profitable investments, short or long-term investments.

They get bored very quickly, and professional activities with a low degree of risk do not motivate them in any way. They are very good leaders and have an effective leadership style, albeit based on impulsive decisions.

And although they have excellent performance at the managerial level, when it comes to inner feelings, they have very few feelings of this kind. Apart from the feverish and intense activities they perform as managers, they can hardly find satisfaction elsewhere.

Reaching the pinnacle of success easily and discovering the ultimate source of job satisfaction, he discovers at some point that they have no more challenges. And the motivation to work is what keeps them alive. Crises give them wings because it causes them to outdo themselves.

Most certainly they are dependent on circumstances to give the best of themselves, needing a certain opportunity to highlight their abilities. Expect this from the environment in which they work and if the risk does not exist, they will look for it.

The growing appetite for risky operations stems from the relationship between parent and child. It is quite possible that in childhood, the child's desire to express himself was restricted by his parents. Freedom being limited by the demanding attitude of the parents, the adult-only now finds new methods of expression.

Last word fight / Passive-aggressive attitude - Certainly the leadership style of such a manager is permissive. A manager with a passive-aggressive attitude has a managerial style in which routine and non-risky activities prevail.

He doesn't like danger, adopting the principle most of the time: "tell me who you are, so I can tell you what to do." He tends not to consult his employees when he has an important decision to make, and the activities seem to take place "on their own", without the manager giving them a specific direction.

These managers are pessimistic personalities, who often see only the empty half of the glass. Unforeseen situations scare them because they can't anticipate how they react to pressure and the unpredictable.

Their passive-aggressive attitude translates into an innate ability to manipulate those around them, constantly finding excuses and excuses to postpone the tasks they have to perform or putting them in charge of employees and superiors.

Such professional behavior may be due to the constant struggle for power between parents and children. In childhood, children were dominated by their parents, their intransigence being reflected in an exaggerated authority. The revolt of the child against the parents, later that of the adult, takes this form of passive but slightly aggressive attitude.

Family Rampage / A Narcissistic Attitude - In any large organizational institution, there is a manager who has a very good opinion of himself, assuming the status of omniscient with a sense of responsibility.

For such a manager, the keyword that leads to leadership is called submission. Sometimes it proves inflexible in terms of employees, the program, or the benefits they must have, hiring and dismissing arbitrarily.

Managers of this type always want to stand out. They like to have their merits recognized and to be praised all the time. I feel the need for declared appreciation, the decisions of others coming to necessarily bend to their own decisions. They tend to exaggerate their performance and abilities and see more of the faults of others than their own.

It is very likely that in childhood, in the universe of their parents, they were the sun and the moon in the sky. The parents adopted a style that was perhaps too permissive with them, pampering them and encouraging them for better or worse, thus feeding them the narcissistic opinion they had of themselves.

The desire for appreciation / Obsessive dependence on work - For some managers, professional activities have become more than just a way to show off their skills, they have become a necessity. Their drug is called work … because they live, breathe, and exist to work.

They tend to make this the purpose of their life, not being able to break this exciting rhythm even in their free time. In the vocabulary of such managers, there are no words such as vacation, days off, and relaxation.

They are so obsessed with work that they forget that those under their care also need rest. In their view, working perseveringly is more important than working rationally. Therefore, try to make the others work in the assiduous rhythm that guides them.

Obsessive addiction to work may have its roots in a childhood marked by futile attempts to gain parental trust and appreciation. They have always tried to be the best in what they do out of a desire to receive praise from their parents and to thank them.

How they tried to gain the attention of their parents as a child is later continued by the adult's attempts to excel professionally, wanting to attract favorable comments and recognition of merits this time from superiors.