Learn From My Terrifying Mistakes...
2017: Worst Year of My Life
2017 has literally been the worst year of my life, from start to finish. I’m not at all exaggerating. It has picked me up and thrown me back down numerous times. It’s made me crack almost every time.
While my battery is trying to hang on to its life, I’m going to tell you what not to do in life and why. I’ll be sharing my life story from this past year and it will definitely scare you straight. This article might have you yelling at me through whatever device you’re reading this in because I’ve been that stupid. Though that may happen, there are people out there that may or may not be going through the same struggle and should definitely read this. Who knows, maybe you’ll sympathize with me after seeing things from my point of view. Anyway, here it goes.
At the beginning of 2017, I quit my job at a closet design company. Yes, like Modern Family’s “Closets Closets and Closets.” I quit because the place was so unorganized and so dysfunctional. Even the owners of the company let the other employees outside of the office do whatever they wanted and let them treat coworkers however they wanted. Also, the workload was getting ridiculous. They repeatedly gave an eight person job to three people. We’ve constantly advised them we needed more employees, but you can’t seem to tell them anything. They would even contact you while you were on vacation, like your honeymoon! It was just becoming too stressful and was taking a major toll on me. So I quit...without a job lined up. I know it was stupid, but I couldn’t take it. Plus, it was getting in the way of me interviewing for new jobs.
After months of interviews, I kept getting the constant feeling of rejection and it took over me. I felt worthless. It was even affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. I was always in a bad mood and it caused a lot of arguments, but he’s been nothing but patient with me. Until I, regrettably, caused a break-up...We still stayed in contact like it never happened, but still didn’t feel the same. We decided to date other people and we would still be one of those people. He’s still been there for me through my job search.
Finally, I found a job; a car dealership as an internet salesman. A month later, they get rid of our department. I’m back where I started, back in that same mindset I had before. I barely had any money in the bank. This was the third time I had to go to my mom and ask for money. Do you know how guilty that made me feel? I NEVER wanted to be that person. I absolutely HATE asking for anything. I hate feeling like I’m putting a burden on someone. Apparently I got that from my mom.
A couple months later, I’m contacted for an interview. Door to door home security salesman. OMG...I hated the sound of it, but I didn’t have a choice. I interviewed and I got it! I met the team, went over everything, and did my training. Now, the problem with me is, if I’m not interested in an activity, like driving or having to clock in, I lose ALL motivation to do it. They gave me a list of 30 houses to DRIVE to every day.
1. I hate driving.
2. I hate driving for a long period of time.
Said the girl that started driving Lyft.
So I tried the first couple days and couldn’t close a deal. I WAS RUNNING OUT OF GAS. Keep in mind, I was broke. I told my boss and he said if I got a sale then he would fill up my tank. How do I sell at the client's house if I HAVE NO WAY OF GETTING THERE? So I just stayed home. When I was finally able to drive, I got to office and the first thing he said to me wass “Can I see you in my office?” Crap...He tells me that the company just started a new rule that new employees that don’t make a sale in the first week had to be let go...Well, I was pissed, especially since he knew my situation. This seemed like an ongoing rollercoaster of acceptance and rejection.
I know I could easily just get on the road and drive Lyft, but there sits my next problem. I just can’t get motivated enough to drive people around the whole damn state. That’s my thinking whenever I know I should be out driving to make end's meet, but I HATE DRIVING. Also, people are always getting my car dirty after I just cleaned it, then give bad ratings because of the cleanliness. In fact, here is a list of the kind of people I would get:
• Creeps and weirdos asking for my number
• Creeps getting my number from the Lyft app
• Rude and stubborn people
• People telling me where to go when I have a GPS sitting in front of me
• People pushing their beliefs on you
This seriously goes on and on and on...I mean, really, does that make you want to get up and drive these people around everywhere? No, but it’s my only source of income. I did manage to find a different job in sales, but it’s work from home, meaning there’s nothing to clock into. PLUS, they said you can work whenever you want. They shouldn’t have told me that. You see, I wish I was disciplined enough to work without anyone pushing me to because I’m like a working machine when it’s mandatory. People would always come to me when they needed help with a problem at work. Anyway, I’ve only closed one deal with a client and that was a month or so ago...
I’ve been turning in rent late for almost half the year. I’ve been behind on my bills for the same amount of time. The only time I’ve been working hard is if my boyfriend is relevant to it, because he works hard to make me happy, too. Well, that’s all fine and well, but that’s what’s also getting in the way of things I just should be taking care of. He has no idea of this or that I’m struggling because, again, I don’t like to burden people. He thinks everything is fine, but it’s not. I’m on the verge of losing my apartment tomorrow. I have $0 and I STILL don’t want to tell him.
My whole point of this article is to teach you this:
It actually is hard to get motivated. I know it’s a mental thing that some people need help with, but my point is...find help, even if you’re afraid to.
Don’t be ashamed to find government help, like food stamps, for example.
The more you wait to get important stuff done, the worse it gets and becomes a domino effect on your life.
It’s nice to help and work hard for others, but you should be looking out for yourself, as well.
If you want to keep a good relationship with people and don’t want to constantly ask them for money, work harder than hard.
Just don’t do what I did...
I used to be calm, motivated, determined, and I hated procrastinating...but the past year, after becoming the opposite of that person countless times, it all went to crap.
Learn from me...