Journal logo

Keep Writing

By Thomas Benson

By Thomas BensonPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
1
Keep Writing
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

She told me to keep writing in a letter, but somehow, I could not bare to even think of why I should do such a thing anymore. My heart was broken, a young 16-year-old admiring a high school affair, but with her goals of being ahead of me, I guess it was clear to me that she did not want me around anymore. So, I kept writing and writing, poetry to additional stories. This is not my first go round or last because this was a previous task as a younger lad.

Eight years old, in a room all to myself with nobody around me. I started to write little raps because I wanted to be a rapper and a scientist. For some reason, both career choices were not in my later visual, but the sound of it seem genuine. I wrote during that time because I had nobody to tell about my feelings. Isolation and self esteem woes tend to be the epitome of my childhood. I was either not strong enough or the brightest light on the Christmas tree, but somehow my teachers and counselors believed in me. I wanted to tell my whole entire feelings to not only the world but my own peers, but they would tell me to keep writing.

This girl I knew in the year 2000 did not see anything in me because it was through the internet. Yahoo Chat at 10pm to be exact. Interaction was awkward but we ended up levelheaded because of our similar background of writing. She was a poet and so was I. Two decades later, we have a son and eleven years of marriage on our database. Depression occurred during the pandemic woes, so she told me one night to just write it out. I did and created a blog site in the process. A hundred likes and so forth, but are they even paying attention or they just pulling my leg.

I write throughout the years and kept everything bottled in to continue the remedy of typing out thoughts ranging from first love to first born son. I tried to write a book one day, but blogs and conversation pieces are ten times better. They flow like the river and explore across the land like driven emotion across the blank canvas.

So, I continue to thrive on what people continue to tell me to do, but have I ever told you the moment I gave up on writing? That night I kept pouring blank words and redundant paragraphs that did not let me explore my entire heart. Then again, my life was falling apart.

Recession fears and jobless sessions became clear that I was severely depressed. I wrote but nobody told me to do such a thing since I was alone. It was a perfect affair, but there is no point when you have nothing to share. Everything you keep within and it bottles up into anger. I cursed my family, friends, peers, and my own sanity. Maybe this is stupid to begin with, the chances I take in life are like betting on black, but red is the endgame to success.

I got to keep trucking, so I started experimenting with various ideas.

• Music creation but that does not fulfill my desire like rhymes, pages, and wordplay.

• Working in retail, but I done that for so long I can easily make a sale with my eyes closed.

• Warehouse work, that is hilarious because it’s a cliché to the typical worker.

One day I realize my worth through my time in college working on my bachelor’s degree and my time as a computer instructor. Nights of writing papers for the semester and lesson plans for an organization that does not take it seriously. It dawned on me that I really need to get a grip, sit up in my seat and continue to keep writing…

advice
1

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.