Sometimes, life seems to trap us in this mindset where we think we're stuck, and while you may actually be stuck, you should realize that you don't have to be. For me personally, there's always this point in the morning when I'm reflecting on how I've been living my life recently, what I could do differently to help the day go smoother, how I can be helpful to others as well as myself, when I realize that I'm doing the best that I can. While this helps me feel like I'm visualizing where my day could go, it never takes me anywhere. It's because I'm so focused on this feeling that I'm stuck, and this "I can't do this without acquiring this thing first." And while in certain situations these things are true, I realize I create the reality that I'm living. I let myself get here. So, whenever I'm down, I start watching inspirational videos like "Stop searching for your passion" in my spare time and I write in my spare time. While these things can be helpful in self-exploration, they aren't benefitting my life immediately. Obviously, that's not what these things are meant to do, but it's because I spend so much time and focus on these things, that I don't get much productivity done that benefits my wallet. I try and that's all I do.
You have to make a living to get by in this world, and while I would love for writing to be a part of that, it's not going to be my backbone in this life right away. I have been so focused on how stuck in this situation I am in, that I have scrapped down to my last penny, and I'm in no position to ask for the kindness of others if they don't get to benefit from something. I painted two doors the other day. It was the first productive thing I had done other than writing in the past week since I lost my last job. The family was so grateful and happy that I did that. I went back the other day, and cleaned the restrooms, and they paid me to do that as well. In the most recent Ted Talk I have watched, the speaker's mother said: "you don't create your life first, then live it; you create your life by living it, not agonizing over it." This stuck with me, because, once again, I have been so focused on this cemented feeling that I haven't been focusing my energy on getting what I need. I'll be honest, I'm horrible at Job searching. The concept that you should throw yourself out there has scared me for the longest time.
I went to Gen Con for the first time this year, and the turn out was amazing. The Admissions list of those who bought passes and Tickets was about 90,000 this year (please do not quote me, I heard this from The Wild Bills Vendor). I strongly support all the authors and artists, as well as the game and sword creators, not to mention the staff of Gen Con themselves. Going to this helped me realize that you really can do pretty much anything if you put your mind to it. You just need the inspiration, the motivation, a support team, and a positive mindset to be able to put forth your time, energy, and heart into something. I took all the free dice that I acquired and I created a writing game out of it. It's actually the most interesting thing I have put my time into all week, aside from being able to get out and hop on a motorcycle.
You don't have to know your next steps, but you should know that if you stand still and do nothing, nothing will follow you. Motivation states to just keep moving forward no matter what you're going through, so that's what you should try to do. Sometimes, it is very difficult to bring yourself up out of bed when your mind convinces you that you have nothing to do, and nothing to look forward to—so why bother. It's a trick. You have to create reasons, throw yourself out there with no expectations, make those small jumps, and see what happens.