I Always Thought Writing Was My Super Power, Maybe Time Was My Kryptonite...

Ever since grade school I thought my writing was some sort of super power I could call upon, and brandish when the time was right. I thought I’d post or send out my first piece, novel, or whatever it might be and like the bat signal it would shoot high into the nights sky, and summon the masses bringing with it instantaneous fame, fandom, and accolades. I mean it worked like that in school so why not now.

I remember reading my first spelling story about a man having an affair with his wife, and being sent to the principal's office. Upon returning to the classroom a bevy of students asked to finish reading my work. It didn’t stop there, besides numerous praise from teachers, I remember enraging a fat German teacher who hated me when I read an essay and recited a speech by Hitler. The assignment was to write about, then recite a speech about a powerful speaker. I think I got a C+ on that assignment, but the standing ovation I got from my classmates was priceless and told me I was deserving of an A+.

That’s when I knew my words had powers beyond the norm. I went on to win a journalism award and work on novels In secrecy allowing only close family and friends to know my master plan. Ok well that maybe a bit of a lie, at prom I got drunk and interacted with a stand up comic telling him I was going to be a famous writer, some would say I kind of stole the show. In college I became a wild party machine, working during my afternoons and spending my nights either partying, writing or both. When I got put on academic probation and asked what I was thinking I told them college didn’t matter because I was going to become a famous writer and business mogul.

Flash forward to today. I did take a page out of Kanye’s book, and become a college dropout. But besides that, and the fact that both are names start with K the similarities stop there. I did enter the business world, and was doing pretty well prior to the pandemic, but like Liminey Snicket classic I was hit with a Series of Unfortunate Events of my own. Up until this point I had still been writing here and there , but more for myself and not seriously.

Now a few months ago Im reflecting on life and my riches to ramen story. Of course I’m not really stressed knowing I could get it all back, but how? It would be almost next to impossible to replicate the business model I had in place before the pandemic, and the business world I had come to know was a dark festering shark tank of unrewarding riches and monetary gains.

No, I wanted something different. A field where I could achieve true greatness and fulfillment and not have to worry about the bills and groceries each month. This is probably almost every writer’s sentiment but forget them I had the super power, remember. So I picked up my laptop and held it in the air and chanted something funny and cliche like by the power of the keyboard or something corny like that and then began to type away.

I mean the timing was perfect. For the first time I was in a semi healthy and stable relationship and had a new found deep rooted sense of self confidence having slayed some demons in my version of a series of unfortunate events. Add to that I had just discovered vocal and the summer writing series. It was a sure sign that now was the time to activate my super power and enjoy all the benefits I once fantasized about. I had seen a good number of writers making thousands a month with Vocal, Medium and Newsbreak. Not to mention any of the given prizes on Vocal or Médium where thousands in itself. So if those were the average results surely I’d be out of my financial bind and car shopping in no time.

The rejection from Newbreak should have been my first foreshadowing that maybe things wouldn’t go as planned. But not for me, I was too stubborn. No they just couldn’t see past my civilian disguise and they missed out on a superstar; I told myself. Heck I even fantasized about snubbing them once I made it big.

Then came the Vocal summer series. I knew if I just put in the work the cash prizes would just come rolling in. So I changed my lifestyle and made writing and content creation a focal point. I took a chunk of hours normally devoted to my business income schemes and another chunk of hours normally devoted to video gaming with my son. This also happened to fall around the same time I contracted COVID, a time frame where I spent a good one to two weeks isolated In my bed writing. My income and family life suffered but this was the price I figured I would pay for success, for nothing good comes without sacrifice.

It wasn’t just lack of time spent with family, at first my family and friends seems to be resentful and doubtful at my decision. Most ridiculed me and told me that at this stage in my life my dream was unattainable, which I didn’t understand. Yes I was in the latter portion of my life, but I wasn’t trying to become a boxer or NBA star where my physical age mattered. So I ventured on, stubborn as can be expecting my first victory to come rapidly and in shocking fashion.

Well the vocal summer series came and went without a win for me. Well actually I think at the time I write this I think there is one contest left to be judged, but reality has finally struck and I doubt I will be winning that. You never know but it would come as quite a shock for me know if I did. I have come to realize that writing just like anything is a process and an ever changing battlefield. Trends and styles change, and writing much like sports is a skill that evolves with practice and grows rusty when not in use.

It was in a conversation with my sister that I came to realize; that maybe time was my kryptonite. Where does that leave me now then? Disgruntled and disheartened? Actually quite the contrary. I still think I’m an above average writer with great ideas. In fact I’d say for just stepping on the scene I’m ahead of most the pack but not at the most elite level. So while not Lebron James tier I’d definitely say I’m akin to a Devin Booker or Jason Tatum level. A rookie at the game that shows flashes of brilliance but still lacks the polish and refinement, but is only one breakthrough game/piece away from stardom.

So how in spite of rejection, lack or recognition, and lack of exposure do I maintain this confidence? I mean I have yet to break one hundred dollars in earnings from my writing yet I’m more sure now then ever that I will break into the field. Well first and foremost I trust the process. Secondly I’ve branched out and began posting content everywhere and anywhere I can. So from Instagram to Tiktok I’m posting content from poetry to cringe filled skits I’m writing and searching for my voice and audience. Sometimes it clicks and hits home and sometimes I completely miss the mark. But I’ll tell you this with every like and new follower or fan I garnish, my confidence grows. I can go from completely discouraged to completely inspired with one clap, hi-light or follow. So if you have supported me with any one of the following, accept my sincere thanks, and if you're an aspiring writer or anything similar I suggest to you the following: don't give up and let any kudos or recognition you get inspire you and recharge your superpower.