How to Survive Working a Fast Food Job

Laughter Truly Is The Best Medicine

Let me tell you a story about one of the strangest friends I ever met in fast food. His name was Jason. He was one of the strongest, fastest, well-rounded employees I have ever met. He could make sandwiches like lightning and wrapped sandwiches with a speed that rivaled Superman and The Flash. This is the person, who just by simply “being”, inspired me to become as fast as I am. I was constantly trying to best him. We would have sandwich-making races and repeatedly, he would just blow past me as if I was standing still. That is another story for a different time.

One Strange Dude

Jason, to his credit, was one of the strangest people I have ever met. Don't ever call him "weird" because he will always respond by explaining the difference between being weird versus being strange. "Weird people are the ones that get caught and sent to jail." He was quite the comedian.

Even today I have never met . In many ways, Jason was happy-go-lucky. Nothing ever seemed to bring him down. He was the Spongebob to my Squidward. Most times, he would spit out random sayings at the most inopportune times like: “Hi, I'm Jason. And I’m a Penguin.” He would notice our negative vibe when we got to work with him and he would go out of his way to be insanely nutty just to get a laugh. He would pretend to open a head-level freezer door and act as if he did it too fast or wait until we would open it while he was standing next to it. Then, unexpectedly he would slap or knock on the side of the door facing him, grab his nose and pretend that the door hit him. Lord, he got me every time.

The Mad Genius

He was a conductor and laughter was his orchestra. His masterpiece however was pure genius. I mean I have to face it. Everything he did was genius. He was our own personal Robin Williams. One day he walked in. We all said “hi” and he just looked at us blankly. He clocked in and then started walking through the store. As he walked through, he started turning on timers, moving back and forth, turning the beep-beep timers on and off, seemingly at random. Then he stopped at the French fryer, stood there, arms crossed and waiting. He stood there until we broke the silence and asked him what was up. He just shook his head and said, “Wait for it.” About 2 minutes later the timers started going off in succession . . . playing the first two bars of the Star-Spangled Banner! We hit the floor laughing. It was so amazingly random and hilarious. I could hardly believe it. To be honest, those were some of the best days of my life. While I still remember how grueling the labor was working at my first fast-food restaurant, Jason’s antics helped ease the way. His insanity remains legendary in my mind 17 years later. His special talents took the edge off and improved morale for what would otherwise been a pale, forgettable time in my life.

Every Store Needs Its Clown

It is my opinion that in every store, there should be a least one, someone to keep our spirits up. There should be that one manager or crew that understands that sometimes the difference between making and not making sales for the day may entirely depend on the morale and positive energy of the crew. The day is just easier to swallow when morale is high and spirits are soaring. As a manager, I know that it is not always that easy. Everyone has issues. Everyone has problems. And I am not saying that a manager should take it so far as to lose control of the shift. Rather I believe they can use it to regain and even strengthen their shift. Nevertheless, the creative manager, sometimes even a crew person, can just bring something wacky and creative that just refills the whole atmosphere with positive energy. On that energy, a crew can ride it to excellent customer service and record-breaking drive-thru times and sales.

The Legend of the Towel Chicken

Another antic that my friend Jason was famous for was the Towel Chicken. I still have trouble replicating this one. Apparently, he had shown everyone else before me; because all the crew was egging him on to show me, which he feigned shyness to do so. However, being always the showman, conceded with a shrug. He took a damp wiping towel and laid it flat on the table. He rolled both of the long ends tightly a little more than a quarter of the towel. Then, he pulled the bottom ends of the towel over in between the top ends and pulled the top ends carefully down over and around the bottoms. (It is a little simpler than it sounds.) Then he just fluffed up the middle. The rolled parts of the towel are the “legs and wings” of the “chicken” and the fluffed up middle was the chicken breast. It looked just like a freshly plucked chicken. I was very impressed, and a few weeks later brought the “towel chicken” to the next level by rolling one up and sitting it in the walk-in freezer for a couple of hours. I left it there for the store manager to find it the next morning. What a laugh! It was hysterical!

A Small Gleaming Light in an Otherwise Dark World

I have seen it all these past 17 years. I've witnessed everything from drummers who drum beats on a stainless steel corner posts (and all over the equipment) to the unknown crew person who took a dry erase marker and put little tiny happy faces in random places all throughout the store. All I can say for this is that it “adds”. You will not see this kind of stuff anywhere else. I have worked in the best of stores, where teamwork and happiness reigned supreme. Moreover, I have also worked in the darkest of hellholes. Places where it seemed that the moment you walked in the door, there was a happiness-sucking machine above your head in the doorway, pulling all of your hopes and joy out of you. Places where the negative energy in the atmosphere was something that you could actually feel, smell, even taste as you are working. It was palpable. I have worked with bosses only wanted to dwell in their own depression, pain, and hate. In most stores, I was fortunate to have someone there to bring me through the dreariness, darkness, and drudgery that working fast food could possibly bring.

Final Thoughts

Therefore, this is what I bring to you. If you are a crew person, you can see what kind of power you can have on the entire mood of the store, in spite of how dark and dreary your workplace may be. If you are a store manager, or even a shift manager, I can't understate how much of an effect you have on the overall atmosphere your employees are working in, and how their happiness is tied directly into your sales. Will you choose to be the manager that focuses on the negative and in effect passes that negativity like a virus to all of that crew around you? On the other hand, will you be the manager that spreads laughter and hope contagiously? Will you be the manager that strengthens and accelerates your crew, breaking sales records and accomplishing tasks they would not normally perform on their own? So, which are you? Will you be a Manager or the Monster?

Your Wordsmith,

Matthew Leo

© 2020 Matthew Leo