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How to Handle Backstabbers

They come in various forms

By Dean GeePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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How to Handle Backstabbers
Photo by Tristan Frank on Unsplash

Story at a glance:

Backstabber personalities and how to deal with them:

· Pete the Sneak

· Paul the Crawl

· Boisterous Bobby

· Bashful Bernice

· Stainless Steel Steve

We all know them. In my over twenty years in corporations, I have seen them come and go. Below I detail some character types, now some backstabbers may be a combination of the types I outline below, and there may be others too. These are the ones that have affected me in my work experience, and how to handle them.

Overarching tip — make sure all your work is done and issues have been communicated with your boss, once you have taken many measures to mitigate the risks.

There are a few types of backstabbers and I will discuss them in more detail below and how they work.

Pete the sneak

This one is the ultimate coward, by going behind your back when you have left the office, or are in a meeting, or at a meeting off-site. The key is you need to be absent. Pete will sidle up to your boss and “air a concern” that he has for the business, and he will weave you into the story of concern he has. He will not directly blame you but allude to you as the problem or the “bottleneck”. Pete would have discussed none of his concerns with you, because he is a complete coward, or he is trying to defame you, and step over you as you writhe around at his feet, once his dagger has entered your back.

Solution

Keep records of all discussions you have had with him and do everything in writing, if it is a phone call, confirm what was discussed in an email. Make sure your work is beyond reproach and if any issues arise, or have the potential to arise, make sure your boss is well aware of the potential issues, this will make you look proactive and make Pete the Sneak look like a dork when he launches his cowardly attack.

Paul the crawl

This one will usually use the cover of a meeting to try to publicly humiliate you, to keep his plate clean. He will deflect to you as his cover, deflecting the discussion, so that you become the focus and he comes out looking good.

Solution

Once again ensure your work is up to date, anticipate what will be discussed in the meeting and who will be there, it is a good idea to identify any difficult questions and discuss them with your boss before entering the meeting room so that he is already fully aware, it is very important to anticipate where the discussions will go in the meeting.

Boisterous Bobby

This one is a loudmouth, who will in a jovial way (pretending to be joking) bring issues to light. This can happen in a social work situation or just in the office. He will blurt out to all in the near vicinity. “Oh hello is that James ‘I never call you back’ Jonson?”

Solution

These types are very difficult to deal with, so if you have one of them, ensure you are ready with anything he might take issue with, if you have nothing rather than looking unprepared you can use the general phrase “Oh you are such a joker, how are you?” and try to play it down.

Or Answer. “Is that Bobby, ‘I’m never at my desk’ Smith?” But you need to think quickly, you will also need to anticipate what this character may have to moan about, the default is “Oh you are such a joker!”, and then pivot onto something else quickly.

Bashful Bernice

This type is the ultimate victim backstabber. They will play the victim and pretend that they are really pulling out all the stops but they just aren’t getting anywhere and need some help from top management. Usually quietly spoken and acting timid, but beneath the quiet, weak exterior beats the heart of a ruthless manipulator.

Solution

Act totally confused and question why she said nothing to you? Act caring, that you are there to help, and that we are all one team, and you would love to meet one on one with her to ensure that the team achieves its goals. This will frighten her because she is a coward, but it shows that you will work as a team player.

Stainless Steel Steve

This character is dangerous, no crap sticks to stainless steel, this guy will seem like he has some hold over the top management. He would have built relationships over the months and years, and he will be almost perfect in the eyes of top management. He will be direct and publicly announce that you are to blame for the potential failure of the project.

Solution

Know why the project will not fail and present counter-evidence, and if there are any issues that you cannot solve, admit that you are working on them, and what you have done to solve them. Do not deny this character, he already has the ear of top management. It is best to try to recruit him to your cause. “Steve, you have great insights on this project, would you mind assisting myself and the team, you seem to understand the issue and no doubt have already thought of solutions, so I want to meet with you so we can solve this together”

This will change his attack and satisfy his ego, he will go from attacker to advisor and helper. It is no good taking him on when he has the upper hand, delay to fight another day.

Having been in corporations my whole life I have seen these personas come and go, I am hoping this can help you navigate the world of office politics and conflicts.

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About the Creator

Dean Gee

Inquisitive Questioner, Creative Ideas person. Marketing Director. I love to write about life and nutrition, and navigating the corporate world.

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