How (NOT) to be a Manager

What you are about to read is a story that explains two very different management styles. The aim of this story is to at least make you think about how small actions can have a big impact on the employees you are working with.

Background

Before we get started with the two situations I'm about to explain, here is some background information: I have a master's degree in logistics management, I love to travel, and I'm very keen to get to know people all over the world. I'm an introvert who is great at communicating with people 1-1 and who loves giving presentations to bigger crowds. I'm a sponge for knowledge and my only real talent is being able to solve any Excel issue you've ever had.

The first job

As a young graduate I started, full of enthousiasm and willingness to learn, at my first full-time job. What I wanted then was the following:

• A direct connection to my major at university
• An international environment
• A young team I could blend into
• Opportunity to travel
• Something that would challenge me and take me out of my comfort zone

I was working in the field I majored in, which was great. I worked in a team with 7 nationalities and got to work with people all over the world. The team was overall young, although at that point I was the youngest person to join the team (of course, because I was the only young graduate they hired that year). In the first month I got to travel to another country with 4 other colleagues, which was an amazing experience. I quickly became analytically very strong, which was a great asset too. It sounds like the perfect job, right? Well, after about 6 months I became the "expert" of the nice market I was working in. I was 22 years old, and much older people with much more experience suddenly came to me with questions. I quickly came to realise that, because of this, I wasn't learning much anymore myself. People were learning from me instead.

I became frustrated with myself because, although I loved that people trusted me enough they wanted to learn from me, I also wanted to learn new things and to be exposed to new situations. I became bored of my job very quickly, but there was no easy way out because I had almost no experience outside of this job. I talked about the frustrations I had with my manager, and she fully understood the situation I was in. She gave me new projects to take full ownership of, gave me the opportunity to come up with new ideas and to present them to her whenever I wanted, and she fully trusted me with the knowledge I had built up until that point.

Even though my manager at that time did everything in her power to accommodate me, I was still missing something. New experiences, new environments, new things to learn. After 2 years at my first job, I got promoted and joined another team within the same company. At this point, my expectations were very different:

• Involvement in projects
• A fast-paced environment where I would be exposed to new things often
• An even closer connection to my major
• A leadership position to improve my people skills

The second job

I applied for a supervisory role, which seemed to check all of the boxes. However, when I joined the team, nobody ended up reporting to me because they changed the job description last-minute. At the beginning I didn't mind, because the other 3 boxes were still ticked off and I figured that would be enough to satisfy my thirst for new knowledge. I joined the team and focused on listening to their experiences, it's my way of absorbing information. I don't ask 1000 questions, I listen and try to put myself in the other person's situation to understand what they are talking about. My manager seemed to disagree with this method of learning, but only made the occassional snarky comment about me being "quiet". I didn't care, because I was still picking up the information I needed to do my work diligently.

However, after a while I noticed I was starting to be micro-managed. Every little thing had to be perfect according to my manager's wishes, which he (of course) only communicated after I had already done what he asked me to do which meant I often had to start from scratch. The projects that I got handed were ones I had zero knowledge, control, or ownership over. I did not have the power to change things for the better. The confidence I had built up in the first two years were completely gone, and I did not find the energy to take initiative and to bring possible improvements forward. I blamed myself for this, and didn't understand what had changed or why I was suddenly not motivated to share ideas like I was before.

And then my manager and I had a conversation about me getting the possibility to improve my people skills (which is originally why I applied for the job). He told me I would not be able to handle a supervisory role because I should be able to handle talking to people. My analytical skills were mediocre, and I was not able to find improvements. If I were to ever apply for a supervisory role he would push me in a "development course" where I would handle the administration of a supervisor first because that's the only thing I'm good at. He couldn't stop me to apply for this type of job, but I would need "a hell of a good motivation letter to be able to be considered".

On that day I decided it was not worth having a manager who does not believe in its people, who does not help them grow, and who does not see their potential.

Conclusion

My first manager allowed me to grow at my own pace and supported me along the way. She knew I was ready for more but waited for me to say the word. All projects that were started in my first team were successfully completed, with substantial financial benefits. My second manager decided from the very beginning that being quiet was bad news, and that taking no initiative was the direct consequence of hiring an introvert. Not a single project was finished to my personal satisfaction, and the team did not benefit from the projects that were ongoing unfortunately.

A manager should be someone who recognizes their employee's strengths and weaknesses. Work with the strengths and improve the weaknesse. Amazing things can happen when you care enough about your workforce. I have learned a lot from this experience, and will apply everything I learned (in silence) to the people that will report to me in the future.