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Four Ways You Could be Self Destructing

by Harley 4 months ago in humanity / advice
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And how to break those habits and improve.

Four Ways You Could be Self Destructing
Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

“Unless we learn to know ourselves, we run the danger of destroying ourselves.”

― Ja A. Jahannes, WordSong Poets

A lot of us tend to self destruct, and might not even notice that‘s what we‘re doing. Self destruction comes in many different waves and I am here to give you insight on some ways you can may be self destructing. And how you can avoid self destruction in the future.

1. Complaining all the time.

Some complaining has never hurt anyone. But when you notice yourself start to complain about anything and everything, take a minute to think to yourself, “How is this helpful to me?”

Ways to improve:

- Practice seeing the good in the situation. Even though it might be hard, try to focus on the positive.

- Learn the use of Encouraging language to the people around you and to yourself.

- Write down what you‘re grateful for. (I Know it might be cheesy, but writing down things you’re grateful for actually makes you realize that what you’re complaining about isn’t so big of a deal. )

2. Holding onto resentment.

I know my fair share of holding onto resentment. And I also know, that doing that never helped me at all. It just kept me thinking about the wrong that was done and kept me upset about the situation.

Ways to improve:

- Commit to focusing on the present and let go of the past. You cannot change what happened in the past. The only thing you can control and change is the present.

- Understand that people are human and make mistakes. Now this is a big one. Sometimes it‘s hard to realize that people make mistakes, especially when it‘s someone close to you that has wronged you. But we’re all human and we all make mistakes.

- Learn to forgive others AND yourself. Not only we might hold onto grudges from others, but even we can do it to ourselves. We might have really screwed up once and held that against ourselves. BUT you have to forgive yourself for the wrong you have done and the wrongs others have done.

3. Waiting for other people to make you happy.

A lot of people seek happinesses out in others. Rathers thats in relationships or trying you’re best to make others proud of you. But its self destructive. You cannot find happiness in others, only in yourself.

Ways to improve:

- Work on something that YOU’RE passionate about. Do something that you like to do, maybe it’s painting or puzzles. Do something that makes you happy, not to impress others.

- Stop comparing yourself to others. This is a big one on social media. We see people on instgram all the time with their life “life together”. But we need to realize that its all fake. No one is perfect, and you cannot compare yourself to someone else.

- Check out stoic philosophy. Stoic philosophy is basically the practice of developing self control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions. ( there’s more to it for you to research if you would like :) )

4. Being your worst own critic.

Positive criticism is always welcomed. But when it comes to always criticizing everything you do, it becomes destructive. And for some weird reason, we always notice the bad about ourselves more than others do. We tend to focus on what we do wrong rather than what we do correctly.

Ways to improv:

- Stop expecting perfection and learn from your mistakes. Like I said before, no one is perfect. And it is okay to make mistakes. Learn from them to help you improve in the future.

- Focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Everyone has weaknesses and it‘s completely normal. Don’t put all of your energy into what you’re lacking, but into what you’re really good at.

- Seeing the opportunities around you. There are plenty of opportunities around, you just have to look. :)

Self destruction is one of the worst things. And it comes into our life in sneaky ways. I hope you reading the ways you could be self destructing made you realizes how you can improve and be your best healthy self.


About the author


Hi, im 18 years old currently in college working towards my bachelors degree in English, inspiring to become an author. :)

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