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Confidence Boost - Overcome Your Fears

Three Starting Points to Build On

By KJ AartilaPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
Confidence Boost - Overcome Your Fears
Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Confidence Boost - Overcome Your Fears

In my long life of riding horses, I hit the ground numerous times in an unexpected dismount chosen by my regal mount. I have never been seriously hurt - well, except that one time when I couldn’t breathe for a month and it took nearly a year to find myself basically pain-free from that, but I didn’t go to the Dr., so it doesn’t count - until about 1.5 years ago. It could have been serious, but wasn’t. It scared me pretty bad, though, when I saw the creases marking my helmet from the fence I was tossed into. Thank goodness I was wearing a helmet. What I remember the most is the view of scrambling hooves trying to avoid squashing me after I landed in his path. He did avoid me, and I did avoid deathly injury that day, but my confidence had been shattered. How am I overcoming that? First of all, because I think I can. Confidence starts and ends in the mind.

"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." — John Wayne

I have three tactics to share with you for confronting your fears:

Start Slow

One step at a time. It’s not a race. You’re only trying to compete against yourself each time. When you compare yourself to the speed of another’s progress, it challenges your own confidence. Focus on yourself. Do what you want in order to get where you want to be. Be proud of your own small victories, whether they’re apparent to others or not. It’s those small successes that keep encouraging us to move forward. Celebrate them, don’t ignore them!

Start Small

Baby steps - focus on the step in front of you, instead of the big picture. Yes, you need to know the big picture to determine your destination, but focusing on that can be too overwhelming, paralyzing you with fear and possibilities. Instead, break your intended goals down into feasible steps, and if that still works out to seem too difficult, break it down even further. Push yourself onto the first step. Once you’re good with that, move onto the next and so on. Again, it’s not a race, remember the saying “slow and steady wins the games” as stated in the story, The Tortoise and the Hare. Be that turtle with intention. Take the time it takes for yourself to feel comfortable according to your own agenda, no one else’s.

Start with a Plan

Know what’s important for you to achieve based on your desires, not anyone else’s, then research it. Form a plan and commit to the plan. You are allowed to evolve and adapt your plan overtime, but always follow a plan. Focus on the goal, not the limitations. There will be days that you feel discouraged, or where you feel like you’ve taken three steps backward. You know they’re coming. Have a plan ready for how you’ll deal with those set-backs so you won’t just give up. Be prepared!

I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again. Hold my ibuprofen.


KJ Aartila grew up in a small, rural community surrounded by animals and family. She, along with her husband and daughter, horses and other pets, now live on 40 acres in Northern Wisconsin, surrounded by forest and wildlife. She has spent her life reading about, writing about and working with animals, her goal always to be as reliable, trustworthy and honest as a horse, but her innate humaness keeps getting in the way. She remains determined to keep trying, though.

Check out my website HERE!. Email me!

Subscribe for free to my Youtube Channel HERE.


About the Creator

KJ Aartila

A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.

You can also find my Author page here

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Comments (3)

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  • Randy Wayne Jellison-Knock2 months ago

    Helpful, well-written article, containing solid advice. I especially loved your run-on sentence at the beginning where you keep qualifying what you've just said. Comedic genius & a good device for encouraging us to read on to receive your sage words.

  • Babs Iverson2 months ago

    Super!!! Love this!!! Great advice!!!

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