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Change is not inevitable

Change is hard and you have to put in the effort to reap the rewards

By Raven RiverPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Change is not inevitable
Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

I've recently been inspired by a friend of mine to evaluate my life and make changes. Change is something I fear. I'm a creature of habit and feel safe in the spaces I've created for myself. But these spaces are in fact, not safe. The routines and customs I have in my life are keeping me afloat however I'm not propelling. I've let myself go; my weight, my mind, my creativity, my spark and I want it all back. I want to thrive and not merely be stagnant for the rest of my life.

But where to start? Change is not inevitable. For so long I've put off even thinking about making changes as the unknown is scary. But now it's time to to dive in and put in the effort to claim back who I once was and to surpass this person I ache to be.

Effort... something that seems so simple yet once you're lost it's easy to give up. My mindset has to change and I need to find my determination and drive again.

In order to succeed and make the changes I desperately desire I need to overcome my extrinsic motivation. I've received positive extrinsic motivation often and from a young age in most areas of my life. Extrinsic motivation has its place but it is dangerous. I was once a perfectionist and if I wasn't given an A+ on my assignment or test it wasn't good enough. It didn't matter if I had tried my best and put in every ounce of effort I had, nothing but perfect was good enough. If I wasn't liked or was everything that my friends and family expected of me I wasn't working hard enough. This isn't a safe space to be in, not ever thinking you're good enough unless you hear it from someone else.

Along the way I've lost myself. I'm an adult, in my 30's who still strives for and thrives on external rewards. But I've lost myself. I can't blame my failures, decisions and inability to change on others but if I make a change and don't receive the reward and therefore motivation I've become accustomed to, I give up.

Becoming intrinsically motivated is fundamental to being open to and making changes. This is something that is heavily focused on within primary school curriculum these days. Developing a growth mindset - dedication, hard work and in turn change. I hope that in the future this has a positive impact on society and if taught properly it will.

There are however times when intrinsic motivation will have external rewards and in my life I can see many. I need to lose weight; for my health, my mind and my future yet despite these reasons being internal and my motivation is to feel better within myself, I will be extrinsically motivated. My friends and family will notice and comment which in turn will make me feel good. I can't get lost and trapped in this cycle. Despite this my fear is what if they don't?

Change is not inevitable. It's scary. What if I make changes and things don't turn out like I envisaged? In order to change we must forge our own path and push ourselves in a different direction, finding motivation and dedication within. Dedication is key and change is scary as things might go wrong or might not follow the path originally planned but that is ok. Life is not black and white and despite losing myself and fearing the changes I so desperately need, I must put in the effort to reap the rewards.

I've lost sight of the path I once wanted to take in my life and the person I wanted to be - physically, mentally and creatively. Now it's time to take back my life, to work on myself, to make changes regardless of my fears and put in the effort to achieve my desires... for myself. Not for anyone else, for me.

This is step one, doing something I've always found joy in, writing.

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About the Creator

Raven River

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