Building Successful Professional Relationships

I had the unique opportunity to attend this year’s Millennial Summit. It is usually an in-person event in the state of Delaware but 2020 went virtual, giving me the access to attend all the way over here in Richmond, VA! Today’s focus was all things leadership. I learned so much from the speaker of the course on creating relationships in the workplace, even virtually. This was the Founder/CEO of iMap Strategic Solutions, and she really knows her stuff!

Everyone can be a leader. This is not to be mistaken with the term “manager” which is a job title. Being a leader is a way of life. Some of us are natural-born leaders and others learn the skills overtime to rise to the occasion. I can go on and on about the differences between a manager and a leader, but that’s not the message I want to get across.

Whether in a working environment or developing a relationship on a personal level, we want to communicate effectively. We can always connect with others based on hobbies and interests, but the relationship will be superficial and temporary. To create stronger, lasting relationships, we need to focus on the other person’s needs as well.

Firstly, we must consider ourselves. It is important to be self-aware in a working environment and while creating personal relationships. We should not try to change ourselves (Reminder that you are perfect exactly as you are right now!), but rather be aware of what we love, what we need, who we are, and how we react to certain situations.

Again, it is easiest to connect with people when we find common ground in what we love. But that relationship won’t get very far and may lose its authenticity. When we focus on what the other person needs, the relationship tends to last longer and withstand conflict.

The speaker shared a visual that is very similar to what I learned a while back about “communication styles”. Some of us fall into multiple categories depending on the situation. For example, I tend to be a driver when I’m at work and an expressive when at home…

Here is a visual for the different communication styles we encounter every day:

Depending on the situation, we may fall into multiple categories at once. Consider how others behave around you to determine which style to prepare for before attempting to make a connection.

It is important for us to consider our own communication styles so that we can better communicate to others what we need. As leaders, we should also consider the communication styles of our coworkers, reports, and even our own bosses. This is the only way to have an effective working relationship. If we are unwilling to meet people where they are, we are not prepared to lead…

Today’s speaker brought up a similar chart during her presentation. Although she used different names, the traits and expectations of each personality type are the same.

RED = DRIVER COMMUNICATION STYLE

GREEN = EXPRESSIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE

YELLOW = ANALYTICAL COMMUNICATION STYLE

BLUE = AMIABLE COMMUNICATION STYLE

Here is the visual our speaker used today about the needs of each communication type:

See how it can be equally important to know our own communication styles as well as the person’s we want to connect with?? I gotta be honest….I fall into the Red, Driver communication style at work. I have to be aware that it comes across as abrupt and even rude sometimes. When speaking to an amiable/analytical down on the bottom (yellow/blue) I should adapt to their needs. Sometimes, however, others should adapt to our needs. It all depends on the situation and the end goal.

When we are not communicating with a person in a way they feel comfortable, REACTIONS come into play…

RED/DRIVER = BECOMING MORE FORCEFUL

GREEN/EXPRESSIVE = BECOMING ARGUMENTATIVE/DEFENSIVE

YELLOW/ANALYTICAL = TRYING TO CONTROL THE SITUATION

BLUE/AMIABLE = WITHDRAWING COMPLETELY

If we see a stress reaction like listed above, it means we are not giving the person what they need to communicate effectively with us. If this continues, it will be unlikely for an authentic relationship to ever form. But it’s not too late to come back from this! It takes time to find the right balance, especially in a working environment.

This is a concept I learned long before while I worked in a call center. Considering other people’s communication styles actually made it easier for me to do my job (less angry customers, better understanding during the phone call, and even better quality assurance scores).

If you are not sure which category you fall under, check out this quick test (this is a link to a secure PDF file): https://eastatlantaanimalclinic.com/files/2014/11/Personality-Test.pdf

Key Takeaway: It is quite simple to connect with people based on what they love/enjoy. To create meaningful, lasting relationships, we must also focus on what the other person needs.