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Baby Steps-One Tiny Victory at a Time

when the finish line feels far away

By Big DreamsPublished 4 months ago 3 min read
Baby Steps-One Tiny Victory at a Time
Photo by Ravi Sharma on Unsplash

I have been working towards my biggest goals for over a year now.

It seems like I just keep having setback after setback. The goalpost recedes into the distance, and I feel defeated again and again.

But I have never stopped going.

Incrementally I get closer every day. It just doesn't seem like it on most days.

My goal is financial freedom. Making enough money to support myself, although I don't need to. I just need this to know that I CAN do it.

I have a part-time job that I have difficulty with. I can work when I want, or stay home if I want. It's my boyfriend's store. He lets me make my own hours, as little or as much as I can handle.

Being bipolar is extremely difficult when it comes to employment for me. I have major anxiety issues, regular sleep deprivation, times of prolonged depression, and I've even had psychotic episodes at work.

I have a small disability income, which I am slowly replacing. When they take money out because I've made income that month, I feel proud of myself for working and making my own money, instead of relying on the state, and ultimately hard-working taxpayers.

So every little bit of money I make counts. Passive income is best, but I won't shy away from selling items I make or find in thrift stores on Ebay or Etsy.

But everything is so slow going. I feel like I work my fingers to the bone on a daily basis, and the income only slowly, excruciatingly slowly, creeps up.

But it IS going up, and small victories count for a lot. Every sale I make is a bit closer to my goal. Every month my income from writing goes up a bit, and that makes me feel great as well.

I sometimes have to force myself to write or work on a project until it's done, whether I need sleep or a break. I can't stop, and I'm never going to give up.

Just because I'm bipolar does not mean I am incapable of making my own way in life. It's just harder. But life is hard for everyone, especially these days.

The younger generations have it much harder than the older ones. They can barely afford rent, and hardly any of them can afford to buy a house. I feel lucky in my situation, I have a supportive family, and house with a very low mortgage, medication to take when I need it.

I am working so hard to become financially independent, simply because I have a need to feel that I am capable. I have to prove this to myself. I have to prove that just because I have a diagnosis doesn't make me less of a person than "normal" people.

I don't want to be supported by other people, even if I realize that they love and care for me. I have to feel the dignity it brings to make it on my own.

Working from home, doing side hustles, writing, art sales, digital products, these are bringing me closer to my goals.

I just have to keep going, no matter what. And I do. Every day. Every day I strategize to figure out how to do things smarter, better, faster. I am constantly tweaking my plans, studying, learning.

I am as good as anyone else, I am as capable as anyone else. I just have to make it in a way that fits my limitations and particular situation. I am always trying something new, or t least investigating the possibilities.

I will make this happen.


About the Creator

Big Dreams

Writer and artist who loves dogs, beaches, coffee and solitude

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