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Another Snarky Entry to the Aquarian's Journal

My commentary on being social

By KJ AartilaPublished 28 days ago 3 min read
Another Snarky Entry to the Aquarian's Journal
Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Another Snarky Entry to the Aquarian’s Journal

“Shut the Fuck up and listen to me!” I shouted at the crowd, as they turned their backs and walked away.

In my dream, which feels very real to life, why does no one want to listen to me?

No, I don’t often scream and swear at people, but I do speak from a place of truth and honesty, and my answers usually require effort. People do not wish to consider anything different thanv their own beliefs and lifestyle, and they certainly aren’t willing to make much effort when change is required. I often am ridiculed, I guess, because I don’t have a Magic Bullet to offer as a solution to make things better. Insttead, I ask questions.

When people do ask for advice, I’ve finally discovered they don’t actually mean it. What they’re actually looking for is validation of what they already believe, and to suggest otherwise is asking for angry resistance.

My daughter has her figure skating show today, in which she has three group performances. That means I must attend a function and interact human-like with people and essentially hold my tongue. Two days in a row! Not that I have mean things to say, but often, whatever comes out of my mouth, appears to make others uncomfortable. I usually end up sitting in an out-of-the-way area, surrounded by people milling, keeping quiet and smiling a lot. It’s not that I want to be rude or mean, I just can’t seem to understand the “rules” of peopling appropriately.

I don’t have all the answers. Neither does anyone. I just like to explore the possibilities of life choices in an adult way with people. People don’t like that. How many times can I hear “Cold enough for ya?” or “What a beautiful day!” How do I respond? I just nod and smile.

About a decade ago, I used to listen to my Mother-in-Law recount to me how many eagles she and her best friend, Alice, would see on their annual drive back from Texas to Michigan. Really? That’s a multiple hours long trip - you have nothing more interesting than that to tell me? I mean, I like eagles and all, but there had to be more than that.

When I was much younger - like before Internet, or Social Media or Cell Phones - I spent many hours working in retail selling goods ranging from clothing, to art, to pet supplies. I also worked in many service type jobs, which required a lot of people interaction. I enjoyed interacting with the public in those situations, both in retail and public service. I was good at it. Now, going into crowds to interact socially always feels like a test I’m destined to fail.

Being an Aquarian, my zodiac chart claims my nature is to be intense and idealistic, as well as traditionally non-conformist. I’m described as interesting, and a person who gets bored easily. Well, I can’t argue with any of that, but it seems to be scary and too much for many people to put up with. Small talk gets boring quickly. And holding in my thoughts in my effort to get-along gets exhausting.

Keila Aartila grew up in a small, rural community surrounded by animals and family. She, along with her husband and daughter, horses and other pets, now live on 40 acres in Northern Wisconsin, surrounded by forest and wildlife. She has spent her life reading about, writing about and working with animals, her goal always to be as reliable, trustworthy and honest as a horse, but her innate humaness keeps getting in the way. She remains determined to keep trying, though.


About the Creator

KJ Aartila

Wife of a very tolerant husband and Mother of one teenage daughter in far northern Wisconsin with too many pets.

You can also find my Author page here

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Comments (5)

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  • Paul Stewart16 days ago

    This I resonated with so strongly! I dont put a lot of stock into star signs but as you may remember, I'm also aquarian! and feel similar! another wonerfully insightful piece! Well done, Keila!

  • I'm an introvert and I've worked in the retail industry for 5 years. I can often talk to people well unless it's small talk. I hate that. I just cannot do that, lol. But recently, I just can't seem to have a normal human conversation with anyone. This was so relatable!

  • Donna Renee28 days ago

    I feel you! I wear headphones when I go places so that I can ignore people most of the time 😬😬

  • Mariann Carroll28 days ago

    💗We put limitation on our own self. Sometime we feel we don’t live up to our own standard. We are hard on ourselves than on other people. As women we overthink things, stress our own self out. You are being honest with yourself . We need to accept ourself and forgive ourselves. Everyone is different and unique that’s how I see the world.

  • Cathy holmes28 days ago

    Great article. This "what they’re actually looking for is validation of what they already believe." There is a whole heap-load of truth in that. Well done.

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