5 Ways to Deal With Writing Rejections

Most of our so-called writing failures are nothing more than a rejection. Knowing how to deal with and even use rejection as a stepping stone to greatness will help lessen your pain and drive you towards success.

Fear of failure is the number one cause of doing nothingness! Seriously, If you never fail how can you achieve anything? We learn from our mistakes. However, humans have a built-in need for acceptance. When we face rejection it can cut right through us causing physical hurt.

Our success in writing is merely a form of acceptance and that’s why it feels so good. Rejection is wrongly labelled by society as a failure. Yet we don’t grow or learn by our successes. We grow, learn and appreciate what we already have by our rejections — we even learn to greater empathize with others by our shortcomings.

Rejections

For some of us when rejected by an editor or reviewer sometimes we may become even more passionate about writing for them — we desire more what we can not have! This innate need for acceptance can help you to learn to improve your writing. Thus increasing the chance of being published in the future.

Then there are those of us that dwell in self-pity that instead of using rejection to grow — we surrender. You only truly fail at anything if you stop trying to achieve. Recently I was accepted by an editor of a publication who loved by draft and asked me to submit but then rejected by another editor of the same publication. Sometimes being published isn’t always about how well you followed the guidelines. Personal choice plays a big role too and the simple fact is you can not please everyone. If you do you risk losing who you are as a writer. To improve your chances of publication focus on your values and ensure where you publish your work is in alignment with these and not the other way around.

Practical steps for rejected writing

They say time heals many wounds, but what if you are thinking of rejection all wrong. What if the rejection is a superpower that you can use to propel you to newfound heights?

Here are some useful tips on what to do if the publication says no...

1. Learn from your mistakes

Publications will normally give advice and if they do use it. Do not be afraid of criticism it’s known to be one of the world’s best fertilizers, but also know this — criticism is an art form that not everyone can deliver well. Beware of poorly packaged good intentions. Learn to recognize constructive criticism. If someone gives you criticism see it as a gift to grow and learn to say thank you. recognise the patterns in the criticism you receive. If 3 or more different people have said something similar then this really is an area for development.

2. Focus outside of yourself

Although it might be hard to do right now, avoid blaming and criticizing yourself. Learn to be your own best friend. What advice would you give to a friend? Would you be as hard to them as you to yourself? If you wouldn’t say something to a friend why would you say it to yourself? You can not always change a situation, such as being rejected from a publication but what you can change is your thought processes. If you catch yourself over analysing yourself, gently draw attention away to an external factor and be learn to be kind to yourself.

3. Improve your writing skill set by actively doing more

I earned nearly $100 in a month on my most rejected story — that was then published by a bigger publication. Another example is how I got 2.2K views in a week on a story that was rejected by a big publication and then published in a much small and unknown publication. Let that sink in! If you get a rejection write more not less, learn from the feedback of editors and thank them for their time. Read the stories of top-performing writers, read books on writing, and even take a course or 2. Above all have a development plan in place, that includes a publication backup. If your story does not go as well as planned think in terms of how can I improve rather than I must be a failure.

4. Network with other writers

Join a writers group to get encouragement, feedback, and inspiration. Maybe seek out a mentor. Someone who can help you along on your writing journey and help hold you accountable for your actions. I am a member of a really supportive and encouraging WhatsApp group. If you can not find a writers group then create your own.

5. Seek professional support

If you find criticism too much counselling or group therapy may also be another option for you. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) looks at how thoughts can be based on our emotions. It teaches you to examine your thinking patterns and put a writing wellbeing plan of action together. To change you must first become aware of what is holding you back. Most of the time the thing holding us back is our own thought processes. Learn to manage these unhelpful thinking habits.

The shape of things to come

Rejection hurts, but build some armor and take those hits. You will always be in the same place if you do not try. If an editor or publication turns you down see it as a stepping stone to success rather than a road failure.

✍ I challenge you if you dare to a month of writing rejections. Step up your writing game and submit to topics that you deem to be unattainable.

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