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If you have no family background or strength, try to go to a big city.

A reality that has to be faced as someone who has been there and done that

By cly mumfordPublished 2 years ago 8 min read
If you have no family background or strength, try to go to a big city.
Photo by Abigail Keenan on Unsplash

If you go straight back to your hometown after graduating, you'll be surprised how few people care about your feelings.

There are enough people around you to drain you of all your energy and, more importantly, your parents who don't know any better, will hold you back and keep you from moving.

The reality of the matter is that no one around you, not even your parents, wants you to have a good life.

But the main aspirations of these two groups of people are different, and your parents are as much about you as they are about you as a saviousaviorwing you to fulfill unfulfilled ambitions in the first place.

But this ambition is not the ambition of a great idea, but rather the ambition to help when you quarrel with your neighbor today, or to go to war when you quarrel with a relative tomorrow.

It is also highly likely that other people inside the village will pounce on you with all sorts of nasty remarks when they see you as a university student coming to the village to start a business, and even take advantage of you in some way - in a nutshell, ordinary people can't cope with it.

Why do I have such a profound awareness? It's because I had the idea of going back to my hometown to start a business some years ago.

At that time, I was young and more importantly, I did have a few mature projects after graduating from university, so-called mature projects that I had worked out on my own and could ensure that I could generate some profit with a small investment.

However, if I started a business in a big city, I would have recruited a few employees and they would have been paid over 10,000 a month, with various performance bonuses at the end of the year, and the money I earned would not have been enough to pay them.

So I decided to go back to my hometown to start my own business, and when I returned to my hometown, my parents were very happy.

How happy were they? They felt that their son had made a career out there and now he was going back to his village to make a career, so they were very happy.

But I thought my parents would give me some support, not financial support, but at least moral support, as I was not short of money anyway.

But after staying in the village for almost five days, I suddenly noticed that things were different, my parents suddenly had a different look on their faces.

My mother, in particular, was always telling me, without thinking, that she had problems with my aunt, she had problems with my second mother, she had problems with my grandmother, she had problems with my uncle, and the people in the surrounding villages had problems with my mother.

My mother portrayed herself as a lonely, miserable, and weak woman, and then offended the whole village.

One of the things my mother always said was that I was kind to outsiders, I helped these outsiders, I always treated them as if they were my own family, and they ended up treating me like a monkey.

When my mother said this for the 1st time, I was righteously indignant and did not work properly for almost 2 weeks, always fighting for my mother.

When my mother said it for the second time, I was still out of work for nearly a week, fighting for my mother.

But when my mother called three times a day in a row, each time talking about how the people in the surrounding villages treated me, how they dealt with me, and how they didn't treat me like a human being, I was completely devastated.

I became almost an outlet for my mother's emotions, moving through a phone call to say how she couldn't stand it anymore, how she wasn't feeling well. How the people in the village didn't treat me like a human being anymore and how I had created so much conflict with the village.

At that time I just wanted to ask what was wrong. My mother was such a poor and tender woman, but she was in trouble with everyone in the village.

When you think about it, when my mother and an old lady in her 70s can argue and the two of them meet and die, even when the old lady hides and cries, I don't believe that my mother is doing everything right.

It was because of my mother's frequent phone calls that I spent nearly 45 days in a state of severe insomnia, with only two hours of rest a day.

At that time, not to mention work, I could not go out without feeling one foot high and one foot low, and I was dizzy and could faint on the road at any time.

What I was thinking at the time was that if I were to die for nothing, what would I do with my unfinished business?

At the same time, my father was very timid about what he was going to do, even if I did something small, he would hesitate and call me and say, "Can we not do it?

A simple example is that it's my grandmother's birthday in a few days and I'm thinking of buying her some presents, some small gifts, and if I can grill a skewer that would be even better.

After all, my grandmother and my mother had already died and it would be a good idea to get in touch with each other so that I could at least make a trip home during the New Year holidays.

But to my surprise, a few days later, my father called me and said: "We don't need to bring these things, you'd better come empty-handed.

I said, "Fine, I don't need to bring anything, why should I go back? I'm not going back, not only for the Mid-Autumn Festival but also for New Year's Eve. I'm in the county now, and I've put down roots here.

As for the other villagers in the village, it's fine, they are not too lukewarm to me, but it's about the same, after all, their friendship with me is here.

However, if you are involved in certain projects in the village, you will find it very difficult, not to say that it is a completely connected society, but at least a little bit worse than we think.

And then some of the relatives in the village are also laughing at people and hate them. If you make a little splash, you will immediately face a flood of negative news and negative feedback.

They always think that you should get nowhere, that you should be just like them, that you should go out every day with a piece of watermelon, and that at the end of the day you should sneak around and play a little poker and then go home.

Point 1, why is it not advisable to go back home and start a business?

We always say that after graduating from university, shouldn't you go back to your hometown and start your own business? At the very least, you should make your hometown rich.

Anxious people

The fact is that you can find a lot of people who have been in the business for 3 to 5 years after graduating from college, and you have enough capital and a mature project, you can consider going back to your hometown to start a business, after all, that is the hometown where you were born and raised.

And even if your parents have offended all the people, even if your parents have been feeding you a lot of negative news, you ignore them all your life, won't you?

Because there are many advantages to starting a business back home, the biggest of which is the cost of manpower and the allocation of various resources, which saves a lot compared to starting a business outside.

But be aware that if you come straight from university to start a business in your hometown, you will face one of the most serious problems.

You won't be able to understand the entrepreneurial journey of a first-tier city or a second-tier city at this stage, and you won't know how a business is regulated and managed.

You may just have a passion and hope to make something out of it, but I am very sorry to tell you that a so-called passion is only a passion.

Without some correspondence, without learning how to deal with different people, you are a blank sheet of paper.

Even if you have the so-called skills, can you get to this place and set your feet up? Even if you do get your feet wet, can you maximize your benefits by getting your feet wet?

And how can you ensure that when you maximize your interests, there are no people around you to look at, no people around you to copy your content, these are all questions.

The fact that we went straight back to our hometown after graduating from university is a disaster in itself.

The second point is that sometimes family becomes a drag.

If we simply look at it from another angle, when we were in primary and junior school, our families gave us the most help.

This of course comes with the caveat that you were not abused by your family when you were little.

For example, I knew a child whose mother and didn't get along when he was young, and when it came to lunchtime the mother had to give the child a lecture, and then the child ran to the toilet with two pieces of buns in his mouth to eat.

This kind of family can be excluded for the time being, after all, there is nothing the parents can do to help the child.

There are also extreme situations where the parents are so emotionally experienced that they always stand up to you as a victim or masochist.

Upon finding out that their precious son or daughter has made it, they righteously tell them how humiliated they were when they were young, how bad their relationship with their grandmother and their grandma was, and that good boy they are finally back and they have to do right by your parents.

Just that one sentence is enough to ruin a young person's life because, for the young person, his goal starts not to look forward, not to rehash old scores, and not to rehash the pain he experienced when he was before.

But these pains do not bring much growth to a child, on the contrary, the parents are personally burying their child's future.

These are my personal experiences and, to be honest, I now regret returning to my hometown to start my own business.

If I had the choice again, I would rather go to the big city to look after people's homes than make a name for myself in my county.

With parents like that, it's hard to make a name for yourself.


About the Creator

cly mumford

The cruelty of time is that it can only take you into the future but not back to the past.

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    cly mumfordWritten by cly mumford

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