Your mental health is more important than a relationship.

It’s so hard to ask for love these days. All a person would want is to be appreciated and loved just like all those cute couples out there. But every step you take in a relationship, you feel a sudden guilt that maybe you’re not doing enough or maybe you’re not enough for them. There’s always the ‘trust issues’ surrounding your mind even if you guys are doing fine, even if neither of you has ever cheated on the other. The sad reality is, everyone is scared of commitment. And why is this?

Majority of the couples have so many issues in their relationship because one of them had a bad past, or both of them did but there’s always one that’s used up in every conversation or fight. Your partner constantly fights with you over what you were and thinks you won’t change. Well, most people do change. Most people let go of their past to become a better person for someone deserving enough and someone who actually sees their worth. But if you repeatedly manipulate your partner and make them feel so guilty about what they were or used to do then you need help. No one has any right to judge a person for their past neither constantly remind them of it.

If you have moved on and decided to become a better person and you’re working on yourself, there is no need for anyone in your life to pull you back to the place you left behind. In many relationships, the usual fights arise over these issues. One of them is made to feel unworthy because of their past. No one talks about your present but the fingers are always pointing back at your past. Hence, people fail to move forward. They become depressed and mentally hurt.

Women mostly become victims to such abuse. If a woman had a bad past, it will always follow her into her present life even if she has moved on. Her husband would use her past to remind her of who she used to be and what she used to do every time there is a fight and he would need something to get back at her, her in-laws will use her past to degrade her and remind her that her parents failed to give her a good upbringing. No, not everyone out there had a bad past because they were at fault. Most of them became the victims of ‘a sweet talked’ relationship or peer pressure.

If you constantly pull your partner back into their past, it confuses them. What if they want me to be what I was in my past? What if I go back to being who I was, maybe I’ll be appreciated more? Just some of the questions inside a woman’s mind if she’s being mentally manipulated. If a woman decides to become a better person, she’s judged and constantly compared to her past self. She will be reminded daily that no one changes. But they do! If she goes back to her old life, that’s a problem too. If you as a man or anyone, fail to stand by your wife when she’s working on herself then you don’t need to be around her with your negativity.

In many cases, the mental abuse becomes so bad it affects a happy relationship. Your mind was made to overthink every little situation and your heart was made to feel emotions. If you are in a relationship that’s toxic for you, let it go. If your partner repeatedly talks about your past more than you do and doesn’t take a look at who you are or trying to become in your present life then you don’t need them. It is hard to let go of a relationship, it is hard to let go of someone you love, yes. But your mental health is more important than a relationship.