'You're too sensitive!'

'You're just too sensitive.'

'You just can't take a joke.'

'You just think you're better than everyone else.'

'You just...'

'You just...'

'You just...'

Am I alone here, or have you been stung by these words too, when you've been visibly offended by a cutting remark or a deliberate put-down? My face shows it all, and I don't see the point in hiding my feelings, to be honest. 'If it's in, it's on!' I once heard someone say.

You see, I have always been 'highly sensitive'. In other words, I am very aware of, and very affected by the emotions of those around me. I'm a bit of a sponge that way, and I remember feeling really insecure and distraught if my mum was in a bad mood, or my parents had had a minor disagreement. If a teacher got cross, I would feel shame. If I saw people crying at the funeral of someone I didn't really know, I would cry, too, for their pain. I feel like a huge feelings blob, who goes around feeding on the emotion of others. But it's exhausting being like this!

When I was a little girl, I never really felt wanted by my peers, not unless they made it very clear that they wanted me as a friend. I guess I had abandonment issues, having witnessed a serious domestic violence incident, and then being looked after by a single mum who never really had enough money. (This was 80s Northern Ireland, so you can imagine how little support there was for young women like my mum.) If I saw flies caught on a spider's web, I would try to free them from the sticky trap, hoping that they would come alive again once I freed them. I scrutinised tiny insects, and was afraid they'd be stepped on or driven over. Even today, as a 41 year old, I'll help earth worms off the pavement and lift snails off the road. Some guffaw and some scoff, but if we can't help the tiny things in this uncompromising human world, then who will? They have to adapt to fit around us, but do we adapt to include them? I think, sadly, not.

I became a vegetarian aged 10, because I couldn't put the bodies of tortured souls in my mouth. My mum was already a veggie, and she totally encouraged and supported me, and I learned how to cook from her. So, since the age of 10, I've had the same old dull questions: 'What do you eat for Christmas dinner?' 'Do you not miss bacon? Mmmm, bacon.' ' What about chicken?' 'What do you eat at a barbeque?' Cue deep breath and eye-rolling...It seems people have no imagination outside of the consumption of bland, dead body.

About three years ago, I became a vegan, because Instagram was making it clear that the dairy industry and the egg industry were ruthless and cruel, and I just couldn't sleep at night thinking I was contributing to that. But the thing that really bothers me, is that I am seen as extreme. Extreme because I don't want to eat the body of a tortured and frightened animal. Forgive me, but isn't that bad karma? Surely, if 'we are what we eat', then isn't it better to eat something from the ground, something filled with sunlight and wind, soil and atmosphere, than death, fear, adrenaline, agony and suffering? But, yes, I'm the 'extreme' one.

I was in a restaurant once, when I heard a woman nearby ask for half a lobster. I had worked in that restaurant briefly as a student, and I had witnessed the live lobsters being brought to the kitchen in a wooden crate, their blue and purple limbs waving helplessly, ignorant of the scalding torture awaiting them. Even now, my heart lurches at the thought of their innocence. But, apparently, I'm just too sensitive, and 'that's what they're for, and they're so delicious.' This isn't a rant about why we all need to be vegan (although I wish you would!), but I just hope people could be more understanding of why these things bother me. And because it's cruel, isn't it? Or am 'just too sensitive?'

So, here I am, writing this, because I hope we 'sensitive people' will one day be heard, and celebrated, instead of mocked and ridiculed. We aren't all 'vegan' of course, but we 'sensitives' all know what it feels like to be mocked and tutted at for 'not being able to take a joke', or for 'not having thick skin.' How on earth do you even get a 'thick skin?' Self-flagellate?

I'm cringing now, thinking, I can't share this on social media: I'm too embarrassed. But, I do hope that maybe when I say I'm vegan, that I'll be spared from the silly questions (especially about protein!!); and that if I have to leave a party early, or can't even face a huge family gathering, then maybe they'll understand. And, you know, I actually like my thin skin...

So, instead of asking 'What do you have for Christmas dinner?', perhaps try 'Oh, that sounds interesting! Tell me about your favourite meal.'

Instead of 'You're just too sensitive', perhaps say, 'Oh, I think I was a bit insensitive there.'

And, this might be cheeky, but, there really are some fabulous bacon alternatives out there!