You'll never have it figured it out.

And that's ok.

You'll never have it figured it out.

It's 2020. What. the. fuck? Never mind all of the crazy happening out there. It's the turn of a new decade and I'm about to turn 30 this year. Jesus Christ. Do you remember how no one told you to expect anything of life past entering College or University? You don't? News flash, it's cause they said zip. Nada. Nothing. Now, I'm not one of those younguns' who are sad to turn 30. On the contrary, I'm excited! I'm just here to remind y'all that shit ain't never gonna be figured out. (I'm not from the South, but fuck it let's roll with the written accent).

Just to recap some highlights so you may be able to relate to me. I had parents who attended College, who therefore decided I was going to University. Which, I have to admit was pretty ballsy of them considering I was hearing impaired. Not that it's at all a limiting factor now, but in 1990 it was. Kudos to them for never settling for less. Alas, I went to University to take Kinesiology. Because what else is a Straight A gym student to do? I won't highlight the obvious flaw in that plan. I think you should see plainly how those two things should not immediately add up to a brilliant plan for success. I attended Brock University. And not to shit on the school, because it does have an excellent Nursing, Accounting and Concurrent Education program, but the phrase of the school was: "If you can walk and talk, you can go to Brock". So it might not surprise any readers going forward when I saw I was an honor student, in a program it which it only asked of me to keep a 60 average. S.I.X.T.Y. That's a C in elementary grades. Yeesh.

Cool. I graduated. I went for more schooling for a year at Humber, which to it's credit consisted of an internship, so I actually got my hands dirty for a bit and eventually landed a job as a Physiotherapy Assistant. Now 21 year me was ecstatic! I'm living the dream $17/hr as an assistant after attending 4 years of University and a post-secondary education. Not bad! That's sarcasm. Though I would not have heard it at the time.

My husband, fiance at the time, was promoted and we moved to a very small town. I couldn't find work, but work was offered to me as the owner of a room in which to conduct Personal Training! Well shit, I went to business school so let's do this! If you've been paying attention, I did NOT go to business school. Keep up with my abhorrent sarcasm. It shall thus continue. I opened up a personal training room in about 2 months, acquiring a grant sum large enough to put down some flooring for free. Now I had to lure customers and charge them something. Well, as it turns out, for a year working there I charged peanuts. Because remember, I excelled at that make believe business school. However, I don't regret that experience. Do you even know how much fun it is to go from assistant to your-own-boss? Oodles! Minus the charging people for a profit, I did relatively well. Pretty flowing customer base, clients losing inches. And then I gained some. I was pregnant!

On purpose I must add. However, this meant moving back to our home town where our parents lived. I worked my ass of at Wendys to earn mat leave. 600 hours in 5 months. Increasingly pregnant. I gave birth 10 days after my last shift. Fucking badass. Well, I had my beautiful son. Since then I have: gone back to work as a physio assistant, worked as a housekeeper at a hotel, worked at Wendy's, worked as a Personal Trainer and Fitness instructor at Crunch Fitness and babysat kids until this COVID-19 mess.

What's next, I'm in school for User Experience Design, which has absolutely nothing to do with exercise and fitness. So it turns out, I really don't care to tell people how to live their lives. I'm sorry! I just don't! Yes, I'm good at it. I'm a people person and they listen to me. But I'd much rather work a) as a team member, b) for someone (until I get a friggen clue) and c) at a wage that actually pays me for my TIME!

All I'm trying to get at with this story is, life is not so smooth a trajectory as you might find as a kid. Fuck, just look at this year alone. That should give you some clue. I've seen some people break at the thought of never figuring it out. Somehow assuming that 50, 40 and even 30 years olds have it figured out. I assure you, we do not. And that's ok. I'll just end here with a little reference, that if you do not get it, you should most definitely share this article with your friends. I made a pun there.

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job's a joke, your broke, your love life's DOA. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. Well it hasn't been your day, your week, or even your year but. I'll be there for you.".

Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Megan West
See all posts by Megan West