You deserve betterđ„
You deserve someone who chooses you â your scars, your past, your sunshine, your cyclones, your rainbows. The one who chooses you and only youđ
You Deserve Someone Whoâs Sure About You
Donât settle for someone who sees you as âgood enoughâ
I know this because everyone deserves this.
It can be tempting to settle for second best. To settle for whatâs here, in front of us, especially when it looks a whole lot better than loneliness.
Itâs not that Iâm telling you that you have to wait around for someone who sees you as their Dream Partner. Iâm not saying to wait around for your Dream Partner. In fact, Iâm saying the opposite. Iâm saying that we should have good values â and we should find partners that have good values. And good values means not holding out for some idealized image of perfection â or settling for someone whoâs measuring us the same way.
Iâm saying you deserve someone whoâs got their head on straight and their values in the right place and wakes up each morning, looks at you â in your utterly imperfect human-being-ness â and still thinks to themselves, âaww yeah.â
Maybe you care for each other. Or maybe you just want to care for each other. Maybe you want them, but youâd want them even more if only.
Donât live your life that way. Donât treat other human beings that way. And donât let other human beings regard you that way. Donât settle for a partner who looks at you across the table and internally sighs, ânot perfect, but theyâll do.â
Look for someone who smiles, âdoesnât matter â I want them.â
And, equally important, be that person back.
It doesnât matter if everything is there if they always hold âperfectionâ over your head. It doesnât matter if youâre their favorite person to talk to, or theyâre secure with you, or they spend all their free time with you, and âevery moment together feels as natural as anything youâve ever known.â
If theyâre holding out for something âslightly better,â run. Thatâs not to say that âbetterâ isnât out there â itâs to say that we shouldnât settle for people who enter into relationships like theyâre something to maximize.
Because there will always be someone more attractive, younger, smarter, more novel (obvs), more fun, whatever.
If they want to chase phantoms, fucking let them. Donât settle for that shit.
Imagine how heartbroken youâd feel if you met someone absolutely incredible â only to meet their partner and realize they regarded them as âjust okay.âThatâs how someone out there will feel meeting you and your partner if you settle for someone who does this.
You deserve better. We all do.
If they are holding out for something, leave. If they arenât sure, leave. If they have reasons â timing, not being ready, busy, doesnât want to ruin it, etc. â then bounce. If they cared, they wouldnât want to risk it. So leave if they do.
You deserve more than someone who isnât sure.
Writer Lacey Ramburger wrote,
âIt is one thing to give someone time and space to work out a decision â we all need that from time to time. Making decisions that affect our lives require thought and even reflection to be certain we are ready, or at least ready to give it a shot. Yet if time after time, he finds yet another reason to place you on the back burner, then you shouldnât keep holding on to someone who views you more as a choice he canât make rather than someone he canât imagine not being withâŠItâs okay if you want to wait, but you should also know that you shouldnât be expected to wait forever while someone reels you in and pushes you away in the name of self-preservation.â
You deserve someone who chooses you, and continues to choose you.
You are a person, not a throw pillow. You add value as a complex and imperfect human being.
Wait for someone who sees you as special, not a chore or checkbox. Let someone else step up and do exactly what youâve been hoping for â choose you, right now. With whatever they have to offer.
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