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Wisdom in Revenge

The right way to take revenge

By Energyia SinghPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Wisdom in Revenge
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Revenge is one of the deepest instincts we have. The desire that other person gets what he deserved, is very deep rooted in our psyche. Yet this is also true, that no matter what we do, deep inside we do it for the sake happiness.

Revenge and happiness are completely opposite of each other.

They are like opposite banks, which can never meet. And the irony is that while we all seek happiness and yet we spend a good part of our lives dreaming about revenge. Do you doubt it?

  • How satisfied you feel when that man who was rude to you on the way falls on the road...
  • When your mother scolds you and she gets her tongue bitten...
  • When the teacher who gave you low marks, is getting a reprimand from the principal...
  • When the person on social media who were posting COVID as rumor- and is no more now...

Well yes, this list is endless! A deeper understanding is needed to know why this is so.

Let us start with the lessons given by Gautam Buddha almost 2500 years back. Let us explore the words of the enlightened one, one who is said to be free from all pain and sufferings. In one of the verses of "Dhammapada", which contains the words spoken by Buddha to his disciples, he tells them:

"He/She/They abused me, hurt me, conquered me, stole things from me", those who keep harboring such thoughts, the enmity inside them will never cease.

He further adds on:

He/She/They abused me, hurt me, conquered me, stole things from me", those who do not harbor such thoughts, the enmity inside them will cease.

Now you may argue, that is ok, enmity will not cease- but the "low-hanging fruit" of pleasure, is sweet. I at least get this short-term happiness.

The wise one says:

The enmity does never end with enmity, instead only through not harboring ill feelings can we be free from them. And this is the oldest dhamma.

If you take revenge, the other also gets back in a cycle. And when they will get their revenge- you will be on the receiving end. And so the earlier pleasure you got- will now result in pain and suffering. This revenge-pleasure-revenge-pain cycle will continue eternally, that is the way nature works. And what is worse is that each time the impact of both pleasure and pain increases.

Are you asking, is there a way out? Well, he points out that the only way to be out of this cycle is- drop the feeling of animosity, drop the desire for revenge.

And he further elaborates:

Most people, not knowing that life is short, and they will die, continue to quarrel, and harbor hatred. But wise men knowing the fact of death, realize the folly of fight and cease all disputes and conflicts inside them.

Life is indeed short (even when you believe in reincarnation), all birth eventually ends in death. Wise understand it, and do not give fuel to the feeling of animosity and revenge- they know they will get back what they give - this life or other. And not just get back- but get back multi-fold... So the wise one let go of the ill feelings inside them.

Today Psychology also proves, that the pleasure from revenge is short-lived. In a study done in 2008, Timothy Wilson and his colleagues conducted an experiment - the famous free-rider-paradigm. Their results showed that those who retaliated did not felt eventually better. Instead, those who did not, found ways to cope with the situation and were in better mental state.

At each moment of life you need to decide- do you want the short-term pleasure now and big pain later? Or you want to clean the slate, and put something better?

And that is the difference between being human and animal - they do not have the freedom of this choice - we do.

Choose wisely!

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About the Creator

Energyia Singh

A light worker.

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