Why You Don't Trust

by Salina Lehn 6 months ago in advice

Trust is breakable but not forever

Why You Don't Trust
Winter doesn't last forever. Let this new wave Spring upon you.

Trust! That is a loaded word if you have been through the ringer of events with people you thought would never break you down. Hearing that your family talked bad about you at an event is never fun. Or having a spouse cheat on you is not the best thing to wake up to the next day. What happens if you never trust someone again? Will that feeling of untrusting go away? How can you have love if you don't have trust with anyone?

It is always heartbreaking to have someone you love turn their back on you and make your fears of them not loving you come true. To get over it is something that takes time and in the end, make you a stronger person. Feeling that you can't trust the world can be a normal feeling at first. However, with time comes healing.

I am here to tell you that you can and will trust again. You can feel like you can give your whole self to someone without the feeling of regret. I can assure you that you will find people that will never down you or make you feel like they will do you wrong. There is hope! Below are seven ways to know that you have trust:

1. Comfort.

When you are feeling down, this is the person that you run to. They will make you feel whole again. They will make you see the good in yourself. This is also the person that you run to when you are happy. They will always join you in your mood even if they are having a bad day. Somehow their day will turn around because of your happiness. No matter what feelings you have, this person will make sure they leave you feeling upbeat and loved.

2. Being Yourself.

When you can act any way that you like, that person will accept you any way that you are. Even when you have flaws, they will be there to help you through them. This person will accept every ounce of you to the core.

3. Non Compete.

This person will never have a competition with you. They will never try to out do you. Any time something good happens, they will make sure you feel accomplished and celebrate with you. Even if you have a hard time, they will be there to tell you that things will be okay.

4. Security.

You will always feel that this person has your back. If it comes down to money, love, support, and comfort. Having security with someone is knowing that even when times are rough, they will be there for you. It also means that when times are good, they will never let that get ahead of them.

5. Patience.

This is very important in trust! Being with someone else can take time to get to know them and who they are. The best feeling in the world is messing up and knowing that the one that you are with is still going to be there with you to help you fix your issues you have going on. Knowing that you can get to know someone and who they truly are can take patience to get used to.

6. Belief.

Knowing that no matter what people say, no matter how people see that other person, and no matter what actions happen you always have to believe that person. If you always second guess them and what they say, then you don't actually trust them. Believing in that person fully is a huge part of what attracted you to them. You believed in what they were saying whether it was a pick up line, a compliment, or a hug. Things will always be best if you believe in your significant other.

7. Truthfulness.

Telling the truth is always a best bet! It builds on trust. If you can't tell the truth, trust is very hard to get. This is a question that comes up a lot: Can you leave your phone unlocked and leave it by your significant other without worry? If the answer is no, then you don't have trust in them and they shouldn't trust you. Everything catches up to you in the end. If you do not have a truthful mindset, you are missing a base component of trust.

Obviously everyone is different in their relationships whether it be around a friendship, personal relationship, work relationship, etc. Everyone has their own sense of trust. It also starts with who that person has been with and how they have been treated in the past. I have learned that trust always starts out great until it is broken. Finding out that someone cheated on you is devastating or a friend talking about you behind your back, but don't let that define the next person that comes in your life. Give things a chance and let them show you what a trust is. It is always tough to allow someone in your life after terrible things have happened, but letting that define how you live your life with the other beautiful people in this world is not a healthy thing to do. You never know, someone could walk into your life to show you how to feel special and wanted. Have hope and stay positive!

advice
Salina Lehn
Salina Lehn
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Salina Lehn

I am a single mom of three beautiful kids. Love to write in my free time on things going on or that have happened in my lifetime. Hope you enjoy!

UPDATE: I am now a fiance to an amazing man and we have 6 kids together and 3 wonderful dogs!

See all posts by Salina Lehn