Why People Cancel On You Last Minute

It’s been planned for days. It’s finally Friday afternoon. You’ve just finished work and you are super excited to get ready and go. What am I going to wear, what time should I leave, maybe I should wear that red top instead? And there comes that notification.

*Message from C*

"Hey sorry I can’t do tonight anymore! Thought I’d let you know beforehand"

*Message to C*

"Aw no that sucks, no problem, see you soon!"

*Message from C*

"Yeah :)"

*Inside your head*

IRUHIVNRONVPUICNOERNVNVNIRUVNURVP. WHY? WHAT THE HELL?

So here are the reasons:

1. They have found something (or someone) better to do.

We have all been there. A plan has already been made with someone or a group of friends and suddenly another offer comes along. You don't want to be brutal but damn this offer sounds so much more appealing than what you had originally come up with. You’d much rather invest this night doing this, than… that. Much of this is situational, but sometimes it is personal.

2. They genuinely have an urgent matter that has come up.

We all lead busy lives. It may be a work matter, a family matter, they are feeling unrested or ill, feeling stressed, their finances are saying no, a personal issue. This is a legitimate and understandable reason, but should still be relayed to the other person with honesty.

3. They are not interested in you.

They're just not that into you honey. That’s it. And they don’t want to appear rude and tell you that’s the reason. So they will keep cancelling, in hopes you back off and refrain from making any more plans. They, rudely, find your company a waste of time, for whatever strange reason.

4. They forgot.

They forgot they had another plan already, or they just forgot in general and now they can’t be bothered.

How to React:

1. "Okay, have a good night anyway and see you soon!”
2. “Oh no, I hope that gets better soon. If you feel like this, it’s best not to meet. Take care!”
3. "I was just actually asked to another function so this works out perfectly, speak soon!”
4. "Don't worry. I kinda forgot about tonight anyway so another day!"
5. If they give you no reason at all. *MESSAGE IGNORED*

Here is why these responses work:

Your time is precious. Continuing to allow people to cancel allows them to think that it is fine every time. By being gracious yet also putting yourself at the forefront, you hold your standards firmly. If it keeps happening, a meeting should never be initiated by you. This type of person will waste your time. Commitment is rare a attribute these days and yet it is so important to practise commitment with everything you do — this includes a simple social that has already been organised.

Let's be honest, everyone has cancelled at some point. We are all guilty. The terms and conditions of a cancellation policy is greatly subjective to your personal relationship with the one in question. But in any case, it is disappointing when it happens.

However, I’ve gotten to the stage in my life where I believe the people who invest time in me are people that are worth investing time in, too. When once I used to get annoyed when it was a frequent occurrence, I now am not phased by a cancellation. When others want to spend time in your company they will show it, and commit down to the last minute. If they continually show you they don’t, they are not worth the effort anyhow.