Why Men Don’t Approach Women Anymore

“Women want to be approached. But if you approach them and they don’t like you or think you’re attractive enough, you will be called a creep.” — Jake.

Read that again. A perfectly normal and decent guy would be labeled a creep by a woman simply because he is not her type. And we wonder why men don’t approach women anymore.

Roberto, 42 years old and single, was asked why he didn’t dare approach women. He replied, “I have never gotten a clear signal from a woman. My female friends have pointed out positive body language as signals, but they are too ambiguous for me to act on.”

Kane, 35 years old and single, shares, “I don’t approach women anymore because it’s too tedious with little chance of payoff. It’s either they ignore you, reject you, shame you, or, worse, accuse you of molestation. If a woman likes me, she should make an effort to approach me.”

Kevin, 57 years old and married, told us, “Back then, you’d be single if you didn’t cold approach women. At that time, it was socially acceptable and the women had mastered the art of pleasantly telling the guy they were not interested. That was how society worked, which I thought was great for men. It made us build the courage and boldness to take risks in life. Today, online dating has completely killed this culture, along with feminists. People rarely interact and conversate in real life anymore. What’s more, young men have become too feminine. They don’t know how to approach women since we have a growing number of women who don’t know which gender role they want to play. This can be confusing to men.”

Mel, 29 years old, shares, “Women demanding men to chase them while they never approach men themselves is what you could call ‘entitlement.’ I don’t mean that women should start asking men out, but just approaching us to talk would be nice. For women who want equality: If he doesn’t approach you, approach him.”

Evi, 23 years old, claims “It’s easier to get women and land a date online than cold approaching them. I’m currently in College and our campus consists of 80% women. It’s not necessary to approach women anymore.” — Well, good for you Evi. Unfortunately, not everyone is that blessed.

Nathan, 22 years old, admits, “It's mainly the negative consequences that’s stopping me. It’s scary when you hear stories about guys and fake accusations on campus. I worked hard to get into College. I’m not going to risk getting expelled for something I didn’t do.”

Lastly, Matt, 40 years old and a client of AFA, shares, “Western women aren’t worth the drama. There’s a reason matchmaking services are going abroad, and why Western men are looking for foreign wives.”

A Woman’s Response

As a woman and dating coach, I understand the dilemma most men face. You're hesitant because you’re either afraid of rejection or scared of being labeled a predator. And I agree, some women (fortunately, not all), truly are rude, confusing, and evil – especially in the West and, specifically, in America.

If only women:

were more clear with their signs;

were more direct and honest;

were less harsh when rejecting men; and

stopped playing hard to get or toying with men’s emotions.

Likewise, if only men:

stopped harassing women in public places;

took the hints before approaching women;

were more sensible with their approach and words; and

were less misogynistic.

…our dating scene would not be as confusing, difficult, and toxic.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments. Would love to know your take on the subject!

I also write on Medium: Katya Koval

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