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Why It's Okay To Stay In The Closet For Now

by Claire Raymond 4 years ago in lgbtq / advice

Come out when you are ready.

Why It's Okay To Stay In The Closet For Now

More and more famous people are coming out these days, and this is a brilliant thing. Not only does it help to make people realize that being of a different sexuality is totally normal, it also inspires others and gives them the courage to come out.

But sadly, for some it is not so easy, and coming out might be incredibly liberating, but it is not an option right now. Remaining in the closet is the only choice for some people and if that is what you need to do to survive then that is fine. There are many reasons why some people remain in the closet for a long time and it is nobody else's place to judge them. We know nothing about people's circumstances and what is happening in their lives, so it is none of our business whether they come out or not.

You Might Be Treated Differently

Realistically, you will probably be treated differently after you come out, it might be bad different or it might be good different, but it will be different. If you are not ready to handle this, then that's okay, wait until you are. If you are not ready, then you won't be well equipped to shrug things off and little comments will get to you. You need to be mentally prepared for the changes in the way you are treated. Of course, people could be completely fine with it and everything will be back to normal within a couple of hours, but the point is you never know how people will react so you need to read the situation as best you can.

Homophobic Family

This is a big concern with pretty much everyone that comes out, if your parents have made their homophobic views clear and you know they will not take it well, then coming out could cause huge problems for you whilst you are still living at home. Waiting until you have moved out would prevent a lot of drama and tension. It would also give you your own space to retreat to after you tell them. You never know, your family might be totally cool with everything (most of mine were, but my sister and my mum weren't great) but only you know your family well enough to know how they will react to your news. Having an escape plan is never a bad idea.


Whilst I really admire those that come out in school as it is something I would never have had the courage to do, I totally understand those that can't come out due to school pressures. School is terrifying enough without adding more worry! Only you can decide whether school will be a safe place if you do come out. Many people do come out in school and they have no problems, but it is entirely your decision.

I am not trying to discourage you from coming out, or to make it seem scary, I am just trying to be realistic and honest, and let you know that it is okay to stay in the closet, we have all felt the fear you're going through at one time or another. It's not lying if you don't tell anyone, it is self preservation, and you don't owe it to anyone to tell them just yet. You need to come out when you are ready, and not a minute before. Don't let anyone that does know pressure you into coming out before you are ready, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, it is for your own peace of mind and safety and it is also nobody else's business!

Claire Raymond
Claire Raymond
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Claire Raymond

I have been a writer for 14 years now, I'll figure it out one day.

See all posts by Claire Raymond