Why I want to be a Cult Leader

Nearly two thousand five hundred years ago men and woman would gather under the stoa of ancient Greece to learn first hand the lessons of the greatest thinkers of their time, maybe the greatest thinkers of all time. A place where discussion was paramount, learning was inevitable and being wrong a certainty. Sitting there, dressed in a robe or toga of some kind, alongside your fellow tribe, you wouldn’t have noticed, you had just joined a cult. As these leaders in thought went about their teachings, they were indoctrinating you into a new way of life, a new way of believing.

A stoa (/ˈstoʊə/; plural, stoas, stoai, or stoae /ˈstoʊ. iː/), in ancient Greek architecture, is a covered walkway or portico, commonly for public use. Early stoas were open at the entrance with columns, usually of the Doric order, lining the side of the building; they created a safe, enveloping, protective atmosphere.

This was a good cult, one that enabled you, one that brought you a better understanding of your own mind and a deeper knowledge of the connections around you and the mysteries of the universe. Inside this space you felt safe to be wrong, you felt supported, you felt inspired and you felt like you belonged, because you did. The people you called your tribe, your community, they were your life and your connection with this community was paramount to a successful, happy life.

Bad Cults

Now, for unfortunate reasons we have a negative image of cults in society, understandably so when you get mass groups to drink the fucking Kool Aid and kill themselves for an alien race coming to save humanity from their own perils. I mean I get it, they are pretty inviting if you are even a little bit psychopathic. Traditional cult leaders are total creep’s with a harem of 72 virgins and a declaration of peace through the use of ketamine. Strangely enough I think Islamic extremists see the same from the Quran so yeah that’s great, virgins for all please, the more the merrier apparently. Whilst you are in this cult, you meander your way past the virgins and the ketamine and all the nakedness and you try to see why this life is bad, why is it so destructive, why don’t more people do this! And that is when it happens, when the night breaks and the crickets come out to play, George sticks a finger up your butt and you’ve just had enough! Get away George, I told you already for Christ’s sake, I don’t want fingers up my bloody butt.

Good Cult s

I don’t know what all this bloody virgin malarkey is but I’ll tell you what, that isn’t how my cult would work. No sir, no ma’am. No way Jose. I see a cult working differently, out of order from the current understanding. The cult I believe in is one that runs in a similar vein to that of the stoa. A place for people to gather and build a tribe that supports one another. A place where individuals come together to make a unified whole. A place where you are free to be truly free, without the pressures of a digital world or the woes of an unsupportive, tribal free existence. My cult would help you to realize who you really are, without all the bullshit of civilized life. My cult would honor your ambitions and support your aims, it would feed you and clothe you and give you shelter. My cult would provide each and every single resource required for you to be authentic, to allow your inner, creative energy to be unleashed, and to let you be truly human, wild and free. My cult would be our cult.

In our cult we would collectively grow, we would show each other the better path and help one another feed the right wolf. In our cult we would be grasshoppers, maintaining the Way through creative expression and love. Our cult would have rules, guidelines to live by, to better show each of us the capabilities we hold. Our cult would challenge you, it would make difficult the obstacles you face but easy the love you feel.

This is the kind of cult I imagine, this is the kind of place I think we all belong. Keep an eye out, maybe one day you will come across Our Cult, and it will be up to you as to whether or not you join. I'm looking forward to welcoming you.

“What hurts the bee hurts the hive – Marcus Aurelius”