Why I No Longer Chase People

I understand that people get busy with their lives, but if you don't message me ever and you don't have a good reason, why would I want to keep chasing you or try with you? If you don't try with me, why would I try with you? My former best friend accused me of starting drama which I wouldn't and didn't, and she was victim shaming me after my sexual assault, which she may have done without knowing, but still. So when she started to not message me anymore I thought OK, I knew this was coming, so that's fine. I think that she also had a problem with my kink lifestyle. So I decided to move on, I figured I outgrew her and she got busy. Guys, sometimes people don't message you and you realize that it was a blessing. You also realize sometimes that you out grow people and it's OK. I tried to message her recently to no answer and I knew it was time to move on. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it suck? Yes. Can you get over it? Yes.

I have had a few people ghost and I realized maybe half of them had something to do with me and the others didn't—it just happened. So, I decided this year not to chase anyone anymore. I'm too old. Recently I had made the attempt to make new friends and I had almost all of them ghost for whatever reason. I know that sometimes it's me, and sometimes it's them, so in either case I just leave them alone. It also has happened in dating which I think is when this idea really came to me. I would be on the app or website chatting with the guy and—poof—gone. I would look back on our chats and there wouldn't be any telltale signs of problems. So I would move on. I know people get busy or whatever, but if you don't explain that to me, why do I have to wait for you or chase you? If you are too busy for me then what do you want me to do about it? I make time for those who are important to me. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? If I can do that for you please do that for me. We get busy and that's fine, but make sure to make time for people.

Sometimes it's not being busy, sometimes it's drama or something else. Some people hold their friends to a high standard, but sometimes the standard is too high. No one is perfect, so why in the world would you hold people to a crazy standard? I am not perfect and neither are any of my friends and that's why I still have the friends I do. We reach out when we can and we don't hold each other to some insane standards. I don't have to talk to everyone everyday, but I think it's weird to go months with no contact with people you care about and like.

Like I said earlier, too, sometimes you just outgrow people. I outgrew a few of my friends and that's OK. Sometimes you grow into people. Meaning when you find them you aren't ready for them and then as time goes on you become ready for them, they're that perfect. In life we need people, but you need the right people for you. These people will want you in their life and I am learning this with you guys. It's so hard, but it's part of being an adult and a human.