Why Do People Hate Each Other?

I thought about this question as somebody had asked me why we hate each other, and I had paused and tried to think of an answer but caught myself dumbfounded. It's like a koan used by a Zen master to his monks, and you couldn't grapple the answer. My mind went blank, and it made me quiet before I even formulated a response. It is easy to react to this question rather than someone asked you why do we love each other?

The truth is we are more likely to respond to hate than somebody expressing love, and it elicits a kind of reaction that tickles one's ego to justify your anger. There is always a need to push your mental position just to be right in an argument. Violence is often used as a tool to disarm someone and solve any issues to impose the validity of your agenda.

While anger and hate may differ in some quantifying degrees, the latter is an extreme emotional response and a stable perception toward a thing, idea, places, people, or events. Anger can quickly dissipate after a short time while hate is not.

So why do we hate each other? I got asked so many times why and I produced some answers that may give clarity to that.

And it is fitting to ask these questions as there are many issues in our society that needs to be tackled and find solutions. We are destroying ourselves from the inside out, especially what is happening right now with Black Lives Matter issues. It somehow reverberates the same problem a long time ago with the Holocaust about Jewish people. Why do we hate certain groups of people or races that different from us?

I think there are many reasons why. Let us dive into the nature of hate and how it generates.

The idea of Competition – Hmm, why is that?

Although competition is a determinant of who is the best, it delineates some individuals' source of hate. Competition is a common practice in our society. It somehow classifies and declassifies people according to their skills, talents, and strengths. You see competition everywhere, and it encourages people to know their strengths and weaknesses, and the one who wins is a cause for celebrations.

When you have a specific skill and hone it and compete on a larger scale, it boosts what you can do and where you are at your best. It helps people to realize what they can do and achieve given the scenario of showcasing their efforts. But what if you have an unhealthy concept or perception of competition. We may admit that everyone is different, but comparing what you can and cannot do frequently hurt one's understanding of self and treats it as a failure.

It can generate an emotional response that is unforgiving. It narrows down your sense of identity and sees yourself slightly inferior and can cause hate and indifference toward anyone.

If you imagine joining a competition of track and field or race, you have an expectation of winning, and you are sure that you can win it and it swiftly ruins your sense of self-esteem if you lose, for how could you not win it if you have prepared for the competition. Then you realized someone is faster than you. It can destroy your belief in your skill and induce a feeling of hate toward the person who wins it. Our society is more concerned about who is the best than honing or nurturing people with varying degrees of talent and skills.

You may not be good at running, but you may be good at something else. Still, the problem is there is a lack of recognition of talents and differences, and we are more likely to celebrate winnings than create a state that everyone is unique and has their way of being good at one thing. The problem sometimes is, we condemn those who are losing and disregard their emotional needs. So now the person is feeling hatred to himself because how can he not be good at running? He must be a failure to himself.

It can affect our emotions and generate hate to ourselves and to people who do not share the idea of you being the coolest guy in the room!

You may not be good at school, but you may be good at something else. When there is no focus on developing your inherent skills or talents, and you are preoccupied with what society's idea of being good, you will have a wrong idea of yourself in general. You will find difficulty in building a relationship.

The idea of 'better' is a dangerous word, but the reality is: someone is always better than the other. It creates tension in your psyche. If you are not better at something, it causes a shrink in your personality because you want to adapt or fit in, but you have a reservation of what social acceptance should look like.

You can't say you are better too because there is always someone out there who is better or going to be better than you are. So I think the whole idea of competition is what messes up our psychology.

If we can create a life where everyone can be better at what they are good at, we will have a healthy relationship with our identity and not depend on our sense of self from others' opinions.

Finding our vulnerability in others

When we feel our lowest point and our vulnerability, we seek companions. We gauge the opinion of others on why we feel what we feel and how far someone can support that idea of negativity that you feel. When someone agrees to your sentiments, we feel justified and soak even more of that negativity. For example, when we hate someone, sometimes we look for someone's validation of why a particular person should be hated not just by you but also by everybody because you feel that insecurity.

We try to talk to people who share the same sentiments as us and eventually hate the person or group of people who made you feel that way. Telling others your feelings and point of disagreement elicits the need to agree with your sentiments and further your campaign for hate.

It happens to everyone. Sometimes you seek people who will side with you because of some opinions you express or fears that you justifiably collected. We aim to get others to hate the same person we are targeting.

The Race, The Color, The Culture – What in the World??

I think this is one of the primary reasons why we hate each other. We have a low concept of what it means to be 'different' if you know what I mean. I guess human beings are tribal. You are more comfortable with people the same as you. Same race, same color, same language. It makes someone safe when all you see is normal and usual.

When presented with something different, it causes a specific reaction and insecurity. It sparks our curiosity and generates questions in our minds. It wants to establish security and ease, and if something is out of the ordinary, it calls for creating conformity.

If subjects are quite indifferent to your paradigms, then disagreements are inevitable. It sparks hatred and animosity and fear of the unknown.

Racism is the most significant problem in our society. It happens when a group of people feels superior toward another race, and they need to dominate in every aspect of it. It is relatively evident in history that racism has been around decimating our way of life because of this indifference.

I mean, it's not hard to pinpoint the source of hate when t is clear from the history of the events and milestones of records of hatred towards one another.

You can see the indifference from nation to nation, culture to culture, and how we haven't come up with solutions yet how to reconcile this.

If you notice on our planet, there is so much separation. We built borders, countries, military, gender inequality, hierarchy, divisions, etc. We always want to group everything according to similarities, but we don't exert efforts to find common ground in diversity. When something or someone is different, it poses a threat instead of finding what it can offer to benefit everyone.

When you hear about 'Black Lives Matter,' it is saddening because you know inherently that all lives matter. But some people have problems and would choose hate rather than camaraderie.

It is the 21st century, and we still lack the proper understanding of human decency. 'Black Lives Matter' would not even exist if we treat all people equally. It is pathetic as a human being to also see this problem still occurring in this day and age. Why can't we just accept that other people are different and should be united instead of hating each other? What can we get out of it but only misery, right?

We live in a world where you will find different races and cultures, and it is unfathomable and beyond me, why is this even an issue. All lives matter, we bleed the same blood, and this impending problem is an indication of how backward humanity is with their morals and consciousness.

Hatred attracts Engagement

Do you ever notice that hate elicits more response than being positive and okay with things?

In social media, people are more likely to react and engage when there is discord on people, places, and events. They find that this algorithm generates more engagements than posting positive and peaceful topics on posts and videos. We respond more to disagreements than being in harmony with stuff.

When I post some controversial subject, I get more clicks and shares because it elicits a strong emotional response from people. We respond to drama, negativity, and somehow we feel comfortable with pain than being at peace.

Our society wants to keep us in an angry mode, keep us divided and separated, that the illusion of being right than others becomes an accepted norm. You don't have an opinion if you are not angry. What can peace and unity do in a discriminatory society?

In closing. So dude, what is your solution to this?

I can offer no solutions to this except that we have a long road to the evolution of human consciousness. What we all can do is to be an agent of change in promoting peace and equality to our society. It all starts with us. What can we do to instill peace into our lives? I think the change we can do is personal.

We cannot change someone's behavior; what we can only change is their belief. If we believe that all men are created equal, it will demonstrate in our actions, then our behavior changes. It is impossible to change someone without understanding the inner workings of their minds. The problem of this world is not economic, military, environmental, but the main problem is the lack of spiritual consciousness.

A spiritual person will know no hate toward somebody but sees everyone as equal. When you hate someone, you are projecting your pain that you see in yourself and blame it to the other person because you know a part of you that you see in yourself, which means the broken part.

It is hard to admit it, but everyone is just essentially a mirror of yourself. A good person always sees the good in others because it is what he sees in himself but takes someone who is hurt, and he will expound the reasons why you hurt him. You attract the people that resonate with your energy.

If you are bottling a feeling of hate within you, sooner or later, you will attract the energy that matches that because it is the vibration that exudes in your being. Hatred is a poison and is not your natural emotion.

Whenever you feel hate, there is an imbalance in yourself that needs to be addressed before it becomes worse. We seek an emotional response from people who share our ill feelings then gang up with to people you targeted, then the string of hate continues.

We have a long way to go in terms of tolerance and acceptance and the point where we can agree that unity is a force that can bind us and keep us together and strong. But as of now, we don't see it. Our level of consciousness differs hence our level of tolerance to things that are unknown and different.

The only solution I come up with is to start with you. Get to know you. Be happy and comfortable with you, and compose yourself and our level of reaction to certain things.

We need to heal.

And the only way to heal and expel hatred in our hearts is to be in love with ourselves first. The people who hate is somehow has hated himself first.

Our work begins at home. To know thy self, as Socrates would say.