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Why Cushioning May Be a Good Thing

First ghosting, then breadcrumbing, now cushioning? This one isn't as bad as you think if you're in the market for a serious boo. Here's why cushioning may be a good thing!

By Heart Centered UniversePublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Photo by Chandra Daru Nusastiawan on Unsplash

For those of you who have been religiously reading my column for the past three years (thank you!), you may have noticed my cynical turn for the worst. Even us so called dating “experts” are pained to see the slow strangulation and subsequent death of real romance and old school courtship. It leaves me scratching my head and wondering what’s going on with the world these days.

As if ghosting and breadcrumbing weren’t bad enough, now there’s cushioning. The Urban Dictionary defines cushioning as “a dating technique where along with your main piece you also have several ‘cushions,’ other people you’ll chat and flirt with to cushion the potential of your main break-up and not leave you alone."

But remaining true to my core values, I will continue to believe in true love. In the meantime, here’s how to deal with this crap.

For Women

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

1. You should be doing this.

Wait, what? Yes, read that again. You heard me right. Unless a man specifically asks you to be exclusive and to be his “girlfriend,” you should be keeping your options open. After all, he is, so why wouldn’t you?

2. Hold off on intimacy.

While you’re keeping your options open and dating/meeting as many men as possible, hold off on having sex with any of them. Why? Well, most women get emotionally attached to whomever they are intimate with and you want to protect your heart. Even those women who claim to be just looking “for fun” end up getting hurt.

3. Pick the best.

There’s a guy out there for you, and you won’t have to fight for a place in his life or in his heart. Let the best one rise to the top, and pick him. This would be the guy that is making the most effort and sticks around even though he’s not getting laid.

For Men

1. We get it.

Women who are smart know that you’re dating more than one woman and we get it. Unless you’re sure she’s the one, we realize you’re like a kid in a candy store. Women are not stupid, so don’t pretend that we are.

2. Be honest.

If you’re not looking to settle down and are just having some fun, please do her a huge favor and let her know. Too many women that desire marriage and a family stay in a non-committed relationship in the hopes that some day he might change his mind. You won’t, so don’t lie and play games with our head.

3. Let her go.

If you find that you’re flirting around because you’re not sure if she’s the one, then let her go. You know deep down in your heart that you’ll never marry her, yet you keep her around because you like her and the sex is good. Do her a favor and let her go forever to find the love she truly desires and deserves. The good karma will come back to you, I promise!

You can follow me on Instagram @savvysinglegirl and Twitter @savvysinglebook.

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About the Creator

Heart Centered Universe

Author of Transcendence A Memoir, SAG Actress, and Real Estate Agent based in Miami Beach, FL. My blog is about what I feel called to share with the world🌍 Be Happy and VIBE HIGH! ⭐️❤️ www.authorrebeccajbrock.com.

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