Why Bullies Bully

A bully picks a victim they admire. They pick on them for the sole reason that they are better than the bully. The bully is systematically ashamed of their personality, so their victim has something the bully wants, which is to feel good about themselves. While a sociopath is a bully by nature, normal people who bully do it from feeling inadequate about who they are. Bullies have major self-esteem problems. Expert manipulators lie to their victims a lot, trying to change their version of reality. Many a bully in many places has tried to make me feel like I do not have the right to live without being threatened physically, mentally, or emotionally since it is reminded that you have the right to create your own healthy life. In my Tae Kwon Do class, it was once said that you should never expect to get an apology from a bully, ever.

My teacher had no idea how right he was about this, even with being married to someone with a master's in psychology that would be able to explain this that way. Relational bullies are the worst because you do not necessarily know that they are doing this to you at first. Sure, a watermelon cake is quirky but there are ways of engaging in sugar free baking. I felt like my disability was being singled out and pointed out to me. I'm like, dude, I can have sugar, despite the perception out there that it is bad for a type 1 diabetic. Also, silencing me with a look when I say I truly love my medication, and being stable, that's mean considering I went to see your therapist with you.

But anyway, bullies are mean to people because they feel like being mean to people. They perceive themselves as lacking something the bully has. I had to take one on at my medical clinic where I see my psychiatrist. The receptionist was rude to me once when I was moody, not feeling well, and she just plain kicked me while I was down. I managed to tell her off right then saying "god, what's your problem, " as in I'm having a bad day, quit picking on me because of that, I'm not sounding 100%. That phrase got her to shut up and I make her quite nervous when I'm present, because I did complain about her behavior to somebody. Remember, in private school, I had to deal with non-stop bullying in a very toxic environment I could not get out of. That's why in my adult life we do things like dump Work 2 Future when it got this way. I have a knee injury for god's sake, and also a hernia by now, I cannot afford to be around toxic people, I just can't. I'm very fragile so I'm avoiding my pagan friends right now. If I can't feel good around somebody, I'm not going to be around them. I even stay away from my family because I perceive them as being bullies except my cousin.

Yes, nobody takes an interest in my writing, or reading my work. In fact, Thanksgiving is a quite, empty sort of event ever since my uncle passed. My other uncle is stuffy and formal. So we only go to fun Thanksgiving events if I can stand it at all, armed with plenty of Lactaid. I need to make real money this year, but my family is not interested in my business ideas either, are they? No. I'm not trying to get their attention either; it is simply best to stay away from them. Besides, my brain has a safety thoughtform in it. If I am ever forced to drink alcohol, my heart shuts off, I won’t necessarily die but I may have the appearance of death. I'm just floored my family would go violating my boundaries by saying "drink alcohol for me please," when I'm an alcoholic, a severe alcoholic, who cannot take disrespect for not drinking. Drinking is a bad habit; I'm plain and simply done with it forever. And you dare give me shit for quitting an addiction like that? I'm done with my addiction. And in fact, I'm done being bullied to continue also.