Why are we like this?

Why are we always expecting bad things from others? Why do we discard every good thing someone have done for us when they do something wrong?

It seems that the weight of a mistake or is much more than a thousand things done perfectly. For example, you have a friend, a best friend she has been always there for you you’ve known each other for years and have helped you countless times. One day you want to hang out with him/her, but he/she said that they are busy and can’t go out. You stay home but later decide to go out and found him/her hanging out with someone else. You confront him/her, got mad and went home, then you are no longer friends because no matter what excuse he/she gives you for that it hurt you. Maybe you get to be friends again later but its not the same. What’s happened to all those years of friendship and all the good things he/she did for you?

I don’t understand.

It happens in couples, I’m not talking about infidelities because I know many of you would never forgive that. Let’s talk about married couples, I’ve seen couples where the woman has her house extra clean while having kids and a full-time job, but the husband always has something to complaint about. Why? Also vice versa, other couples where the husband, don’t hang out with his friends, have a full-time job, helps around the house, works the yard and is good with the kids, but the wife always find something to complaint about.

Why is it never enough?

At work, there is the good employee, always on time does a great work always helping everyone and giving a 100%. But the supervisor is always pointing the tiniest mistakes he makes and gives him a hard time when he makes a simple mistake. Same thing with our kids, my kid is way better behaving than I when I was a kid and I think most of you can say the same about your kids. And yet, we are always asking more from them and noticing the smallest mistakes and give them a hard time.

There must be a way to change this, it may sound cliché but it has to start with us. I have to think before I act, I have to put my self in their shoes. What are they going through, think about all good things they do and have done before saying something that can make him feel worse than he already is.

Sometimes I don’t know what my partner is going through, or my kid, or my friends, etc., but I open my mouth to complain without thinking without weighting out the good and the bad. I just say it and that has to stop. I need to learn when to stay quiet and when to complaint, like pick something up, clean a small mess without having to tell the person, because I have done the same, I’m not perfect.

I’m not saying that we should not complaint but why don’t we stop to think before we complaint and remember all the good things about that person and maybe the complaint will be more of a conversation, a dialogue instead of a complaint that may have bad consequences.

Ask yourself, do I really need to say it? Do I really need to complain about it? How has it work out in the past? Was it worth it?

Like I said, I’m not perfect, why do I expect others to be perfect? I’m going to give it a try, maybe if I keep telling myself that, I’m not perfect to expect others to be, I’ll have more patience and start making the world a better place starting with me.