Who I am without you

Many events led to my relationship with my boyfriend and our beautiful baby, so shall we get started? I just came out of a terrible relationship with a junkie. I took him to get his daughter one day, and he made me feel like I had to speed, so I did. Next thing you know, I see blue lights, so I pull over, talk to the police, and he gives me a court date. The judge gave me a fine of eight hundred dollars, but that was okay because I knew he would help me pay it. He gives me a hundred dollars to help, meanwhile, I search for jobs over the next two weeks. Finally, I got a job working minimum wage at Slim Chickens. I was excited to start my new job, but I was depressed when I found proof of him sexting multiple different girls. I ended our relationship and paid the rest of the ticket off myself.

Over the next year, I made lots of friends and started attending parties. I worked hard enough to be employee of the month and a traveling trainer. I was exactly where I wanted to be for the first time in a while. There was this guy I started hanging out with who eventually introduced me to his friends. We all hung out and partied, but I suddenly became interested in his friend. I didn’t realize I was into him until later down the road at a carnival. I drove us to the carnival dressed better than ever. We rode some roller coasters, bought snow cones, and just had a very memorable night. That was the first night we ever kissed.

The night of the carnival was magical for me, but I wasn’t sure how my dad would act. I wanted his approval more than anything. Eventually, I told my parents about him, and they gave us their blessing to be together. We spent most nights exploring trails and going on walks downtown. Every night, I looked forward to that goodnight kiss, but one night he told me he couldn’t stay, that he wanted to travel. He still wanted to be with me until he left, but I couldn’t stand the pain. I was depressed for a couple of weeks, but then he called and asked me to meet him so we could talk. When I get in the car, he tells me he made a mistake. He changed his mind about traveling because he hasn’t felt as good as he does with me anywhere else. I was shocked, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. All I knew was he hurt me, and he could do it again. It took a lot of calls and texts, but we finally got back together. He even started bringing me flowers to work. The night we got back together, he told me he loved me, and we talked about our future.

Two weeks down the road, I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited for the journey we were taking. We went to yard sales, convenient stores, and took donations for stuff for our little girl when we found out the gender. We both hardly made any money at the time. During my pregnancy, we held a gender reveal party and a baby shower.Our parents were both at the hospital, and all of my friends and family got to watch the delivery. I never knew how much love I could have for another human being, but I sure loved this little girl. Her name is Marceline after her grandpa, Marcello. She is a year old now, and we are a happy, happy family.

At the end of the day, I love these two more than anything, and I don’t know who I am without them. I look forward to date nights and alone time with my boyfriend, and playdates and cuddles with my beautiful daughter. There’s nothing else I could possibly want in this world.