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When You Start Thinking About Parting as a Chance to Get Better, Everything Changes

by Conner Bowen 5 months ago in advice
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Value the past for all the teaching opportunities we had received.

When You Start Thinking About Parting as a Chance to Get Better, Everything Changes
Photo by Smart on Unsplash

"Sometimes what we learn most difficultly brings us the most benefit," said Brena Brown.

Sounds absurd, doesn't it?

How can separation be understood as an opportunity to discover something new in this life? Separation is pain. It's like cutting your arm and your heartbreaks.

Breaking up with the one you love is a difficult test. In a relationship, you open up to another person. You love her with all your heart. Give everything you have.

Not surprisingly, breaking up causes a lot of pain. You feel crushed.

My own parting experience allowed me to accomplish one of those things that we are not taught in school. Losing love is very painful. Surviving the end of a relationship was much more difficult than getting a degree. After I broke up with my loved one, whom I considered a kindred spirit, I didn't know how to live.

It was not easy to get over this separation and tear myself to pieces. I had ups and downs. However, I did not give up. I constantly remembered that the best way is to give up the past and keep moving forward. I tried to do it by all means.

That was 2 years ago. Today I can proudly say that I have experienced the most difficult parting of my life and I continue to move forward. I got better than I was. However, I (like many others) continue to work on myself.

Experiencing the breakup with a loved one, I tried to look at the situation from different angles. Today I can tell you about the technique of rethinking, which helped me to survive everything and come back to life.

The essence of this technique is to achieve the following: separation is both the end of a certain stage of life and the beginning of a new stage.

You and your partner broke up. Accept this fact. You are reading this article now, but the thoughts are in your head: "Maybe I can still return my loved one, that's all I need for this…". If you're still thinking about how to get someone back, you're not done. This stage of your life has not passed. Therefore, another stage in your life has not yet begun.

Separation does not mean at all that these relationships should be considered exclusively a negative experience. Much of what we love ends sooner or later. You may be fired from your favorite job. You can lose the person you love so much. Former strong friendships can end.

When one door closes, another opens in front of you. You just have to be brave enough to leave a closed-door behind and enter an unknown one.

If you can't give up the past, you can't go on in this life. Therefore, you can't get better.

Breakup is your chance to get better. The opportunity to realize the mistakes made in past relationships and to truly find your person.

People break up for a reason. Remember this.

This is how life is arranged. Few people manage to get what they want for the first time. Finding a soul mate is a process that requires no less effort than learning a foreign language or regular training in the gym. You need practice.

Consider previous relationships as a practice during which you have gained the necessary experience. This experience made you stronger and smarter. You are now better able to build the following relationships.

Whatever happens between you and your soul mate, no one is to blame for the breakup. You played your part too. Even if your partner lied to you, cheated on you, or betrayed you, it's still your fault that you broke up. I know it's hard for you to hear that, but it's true. Both partners are responsible for how the relationship develops.

I had to come to terms with the fact that I also played a role in how my relationship ended. I was far from an angel.

I know this is very difficult. It is very difficult to look at your reflection in the mirror and recognize that you are far from an angel. People don't like to tear off their masks and get to know each other. Without a mask, they feel defenseless.

The most wonderful opportunities in our lives come at the most inconvenient time for us. Parting makes you leave your comfort zone.

The discomfort you feel now is your chance to get better. Don't try to get rid of him. This is one of the most wonderful moments! You have already shown that you have enough courage to take the risks of love. Now is the time to be brave in the face of the failure you have had in these relationships.

You know what? If you can survive this rupture properly, you will develop new skills. In addition, you will become stronger, it will be easier for you to face other difficulties.

Change is an integral part of your life. Whether you like it or not.

Breaking up is your chance to show your friends, family, and loved ones how strong you can be. It will be hard for you. It is not easy for anyone to acknowledge their fears, prejudices, and beliefs, which do not allow us to fully reveal our potential.

You have to make a very important choice. For some, separation may be a regret, for others, it may be a new chance.

You can just sit back and do nothing. You can wait for the moment when (miraculously) you will heal, and the pain will go away on its own.

If this does not suit you, you can make an effort and try to see separation as a new opportunity. This is your chance to become better at attracting the right person to your life.

You will succeed. Start today. You don't have much time. Don't waste it.

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Conner Bowen

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