What to learn when you are in a relationship
5 lessons that made me stick around
It is often said, when you want to change the world, change yourself first and then see the world aligning themselves for you. Though the last bit is added by me, the first bit is as true as a grapevine trying to call itself a creeper.
What I am trying to say is that. It takes another human being’s perspective for us to understand who we really are. Though my relationship with relationships are fairly odd, I would still like to point out what I learnt from it all.
Lesson No 1 –
Swatting a fly is easy, but relationships need effort -
Every fly that comes your way has only one thing to say, buzzzzz. Do you get it? Does anyone get it? Never! And I am sure there is no one born in this world who can decipher a fly. Yet, we try to swat it out. Why? Because its annoying! The effort that fly takes to talk to you is directly proportional to the effort you put in swatting it. Does it help anyone? Who knows? You still find joy in pushing one nuisance away.
Is that what we do in our relationships? All it wants to say is listen, but all we hear is buzzzzz. One more to shove it under the rug! It takes an ear to hear another ear. It takes effort to concentrate. It takes effort to accept you might be wrong at times. It takes effort to lower your guard and accept other person’s opinion. It takes effort to understand the reasoning as to why, what and how, to essentially carry yourself to the next level.
Why take the effort?
Is it worth all the struggle?
That takes me to lesson no 2
Lesson No 2 –
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
It is always an effort to move ahead. We love where we are so much that we are chained to our way of living. A sense of belonging to our own ‘space’. Well, in a relationship that’s what you do, share your space. Closeness is beautiful, but being closed is not acceptable! It feels like someone’s encroaching your space and taking away all the pleasure of being lonely. Its like you are in a war and you belong to neither of the parties in war. Just in the middle, wanting to do your thing, but the damn missiles won’t let us be. If you carefully observe, the war is between you, ‘the person within’ and the partner. You just want to be in your space but hey, someone is trying hard to shake your space with their own hand-made love missiles. And trust me, you just can’t complain. Though you do it in your mind. But outwardly, you stand your ground and just smile, trying not to hurt the other person. And silently, you motivate yourself, what doesn’t kill ya, makes you stronger.
And stronger we are, together!
A pinch of salt goes a long way.
Haven’t you been in those moments, where you bit your tongue and accepted everything that was thrown at you, with a pinch of salt? If yes, that’s what I meant, you need to keep some salt handy. Don’t know at what time you might need it. In my experience, it is like spaghetti. When I make spaghetti, I put salt while its boiling, and also, when its cooking with the sauce. You may say its too much salt, hey its better than no salt. Because, it will taste bland and you might have to add more salt to it. But if you know how to make it tasty before you make it, you know what to expect from what you are making. In a relationship, salt not just adds to the spice but also keeps it tasting better for a long time.
It takes two to tango!
Love is beautiful story. Everyone is given a character. Boyfriend, husband, lover, girlfriend, mistress, they all have a part to play in the way your relationship shapes up. From the past to the present, if you have stuck along, you have made a reasoning for yourself. And the reasoning speaks better for each of you. As Bruce Springsteen sang, ‘you can’t start a fire without a spark’, you need another person to help you, even if you are dancing in the dark.
Take a chance
It might be daunting at first to overcome your reality and step into something unprecedented. But you definitely need to fall to know that you have wings. Give reason to your belief of a happily ever after. If you don’t have one, build it with someone. Take a chance and see for yourself, it isn’t that bad as it seems. You become a better version of yourself and a better half for someone else.
Life is a puzzle. You won’t know what fits until it fits. Try your best to get the best. After all you are not alone!