WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE “FRIENDS” SET YOU UP FOR FAILURE

I love having friends. I love even more when they are true friends who want to see me succeed. I had a few of them. Or so I thought. A few months ago, I came to the realization that people who I thought would never let me down, did just that. They let me down. Big time let me down.

I was working towards, what I’ll call a promotion, at work. I was working towards a big goal. It was something that I had really truly wanted. Plus, it would have almost doubled my hourly rate. I was working hard. I made sure I knew what I was doing. If I was unsure about something (we all get unsure about things at times) I would ask my co-workers (my so-called friends) for their advice. Well, little did I know that they were purposely giving me wrong information.

Because they wanted me to fail.

And they wanted me to fail big time.

And I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it.

Why would friends set you up for failure?

I’ll tell you why. Because they were never your friends. And they’re jealous of you.

I found out that there was 1 person who was particularly jealous of me. And I found out why. A few years ago, she went through the same promotion process that I had been going though. When I was finished, we were going to be equals. But when she was going through it, it took her something like 5 years. It was taking me less than 4.

Or I should say, it would have taken me less than 4 years. But that person gave me a horrible peer review. The review said a whole bunch that I did wrong. But that doesn’t make sense because she always told me how good of a job I was doing. She never once told me I did anything wrong.

So then why the opposite on the review?

Because she has a low self esteem and she’s jealous. She wants it to take me 5 years like it took her 5 years. But I don’t understand why. This is a perfect example of knocking someone down when they should be building someone up and being happy for the other person.

Another person threatened me that I’ll never get the promotion. But that person also never told me anything negative either. So, I don’t know what that is all about either.

I really can’t wrap my head around it.

When I read the peer review, I wrote a rebuttal to it. I didn’t understand why the negativity. I explained that I was given a lot of wrong information. I proved that I was able to do the job and that I deserved the promotion. Their reply? Well, it pretty much went something like this – tough luck, our decision stands. You’re going to have to try again next time.

What a slap in the face.

Now, I should also explain that there were 3 other people going for the promotion as well. Those 3 made it. And those 3 didn’t have to do all the requirements that I was being made to do. Yet, everyone was supposed to have the same requirements across the board. So, I don’t know why I had the most requirements out of everyone. Requirements that I had accomplished 100%.

It just doesn’t make sense to me.

So, I decided to take some time off from that job. 6 months off.

And let me just tell you – NO ONE – not one single person who I work with there, has reached out to me. Not. One. Single. Person. Has. Reached. Out. To. Me.

Some friends they are.

They’re not friends.

I don’t know if I ever want to go back there.

I have a couple of months more to think about things. It’s a toxic work environment. I don’t know if I want to be there anymore.

Oh, and here’s something that I have told you yet: one of the so-called friends “criticized” me a lot. And by criticize, I mean insult, degrade, belittle. Why would anyone do that to a co-worker? Especially a co-worker who is supposed to be a friend.

No one should ever leave work at the end of the day thinking less of themselves. Especially when they worked so hard in the past to get their self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image to a good place. Yea, no one should ever have to stay in a toxic work environment.

So, I don’t know if I’m going to go back there. I like the job itself. But I shouldn’t have to put up with being harassed and abused and threatened at work. And that’s exactly what was going on.

But I’ll tell you this – I feel less stressed, and my blood pressure has been better ever since I wrote my leave of absence letter.

So at least there’s that.

I don’t know what will happen in a couple of months. But I’m going to weigh the pros and cons. But in my opinion, no job – no promotion – is worth your health – physical and mental.

Take care of yourself first. Even if means taking a step back from other things.