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What is True Love?

How do Human Relationships & Marriages Work?

By Social ThinkerPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

Attempting to Define Love.

Human selfishness, which is due to their conditional existence as unnecessary entities of the Universe, means that we as humans will do whatever we want or can to benefit our own existence. But then we have this concept of love. Besides the famous song by Haddaway; I can be sure that the vast majority of people can not properly define love because most people tend to associate love with sexual intimacy. That current conviction is mostly due to movies and societal norms of individuality which I will be breaking down to answer the question “What is Love”

How Do We Love?

How do people fall in love in the conventional sense? The answer to that question is obvious: people fall in love by meeting each other in some form of social gathering such as taverns/bars, classes, public events, etc. Of course, simply meeting someone doesn't cause them to love you. Certain conditions must be fulfilled based on the very functions of the two sexes. For women, the mental and physical functions they have are the same as men except when they are child-rearing. When that happens a woman becomes highly inclined to emotions of an interpersonal nature which can cloud, have certain cravings, and are physically vulnerable due to the presence of a fragile fetus along with the vital nutrients being supplied to the fetus to keep it alive.

So this very reduced physical and emotional state of a woman when child[-rearing means that they cannot fend for themselves from potential dangers that are always lurking due to the constant conflicts that occur between living things; so they need someone who isn't physically and emotionally inhibited who can therefore make rational decisions and be physically strong enough to protect women from said dangers. This very someone is an accompanying male. So for women to fall in love with a man in the conventional sense; a man needs to have a presence of physical strength along with a high sense of mental aptitude and the ability to present an aura of social control which all meant to ensure that a man is capable of protecting woman when they are physically and emotionally vulnerable.

Women on the other hand only need to be physically attractive to make a man “fall in love” with them. This physical attraction can be expressed through the use of self-liberating forms of dress which consequently can attract some unwanted attention for women from what they deem as unattractive men. Nevertheless, physical attraction is the only requirement for women for attracting men. The reason for this is simply that certain parts of the woman's body that go into bearing a child are the same parts that men are attracted to such as the breast, hips, genital area, and in some cases the buttocks.

So these are the conditions for “falling in love” or sexual attraction for men and women and when this attraction between the sexes is met; then the very act of “falling in love” happens. But we reality this “love” is a temporary one because when people of an individualistic character go to meet others for sexual intimacy; they will tend to engage any kind of people in intercourse because of the heightening self-pleasure that comes with doing so. So what does falling in love really mean?

The Origin of Love

Human society is composed of individuals who have united into one group for the sake of mutual benefit. This means that everyone within a formed human group has a role that is meant to keep the group together. The role of men and women within the said group is one where their cooperation, is caused by their mutual sexual attractions to each other. In childbearing. While such cooperation in child-rearing does occur among individual men and women; the cooperation is often negated by the individualism between men and women which is constantly self-enforced and often causes the child to act on their own individualism as a result.

This very social structure among people is most certainly destructive for human groups. This very individualism along with a lack of group integrity can easily result in high divorce rates among coupled men and women as well as indulgences, like alcohol consumption or soft drug use, for lone individuals in general.

So interpersonal cooperation between men and women primarily prioritizes the raising of children for the sake of group integrity where children are brought up with certain morals meant to benefit the group rather than the individual. These morals drove men and women to work together and disregard their own individuality in the process. But upon doing so the cooperation among men and women in child-rearing allowed some degree of affection to grow not only for the children produced but also among the ones who raised the children as well. This affection would soon develop into empathy among the aforementioned and this empathy, combined with the basis of mutual benefit among all members is how the group remains a cohesive whole and how women and men start to love each other.

This is in stark contrast to the way love is conventionally portrayed as the union of two individuals who will eventually figure out how to love each other with time. But such a conviction is frankly irrational because while men and women may come together for mutual intimacy and ultimately a state of cohabitation; they are still individuals who are unbridled from any greater purpose of unity other than interpersonal benefit and when individuality inevitably becomes more prominent by either individual, mostly due to personal problems from the individuality of the other partner or a partner on their own individuality in a social setting, such as abuse or adultery, the interpersonal union will eventually be broken up resulting in the aforementioned unbridled individuals usually continuing to live their own lives.


So it seems that men and women are interpersonally unified through sexual intimacy through the protective role of men and the procreative role of women within a group of people. But true love between men and women comes from the cooperation of child-rearing to benefit the group. More specifically, the love that men and women feel for each other originates from interpersonal affection which then becomes empathy which then combines with mutual benefit to create a cohesive human family and by extension group.

This certainly makes a lot of sense and can certainly explain why human groups have had the same social structures for millennia until today when inequality reigns supreme over the lives of most people. Some may try to balance group integrity and individualism but many are highly inclined to be solely individualistic with little regard for group integrity. Either way, individuality, and group integrity have also been shown to be incompatible with each other when the group depends on human reproduction to exist.

Overall true love comes from a group having a common goal which brings people into closer interpersonal unions due to the common goal they have all agreed to achieve together,


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