What is happening with men at the moment?

It’s like they are trying to find a way to exert their authority over women, maybe through not knowing an ever changing role, whether subconsciously or not. Testing the boundaries of human decency and acceptability in a world where “we can’t seem to do or say anything anymore”.

Men are bullying women who don’t fit into their box of what they deem acceptable or to get their own way whether it’s financial or socially, scaring women into getting back in said box by threatening their family lives and security. I had a date once brag to me about how he earned more money and was therefore able to screw his wife over in the divorce with a better legal team. It was a great look.

Independence in women is scaring some men and affecting their self esteem.

Those men who’s advances you may have turned down, those who don’t understand you and then form an agenda to degrade you. A case of ‘throw enough mud’ eh? Shame women into not being able to stand up for themselves. If a woman hits back, she is being aggressive...

I’ve had a ‘friend’ asking if I would be interested in having an affair behind his wife’s back, because, you know I’m single. I point blank refused and was surprised to hear it was common knowledge among his close friends that he‘d asked me. Apparently it was ok, it’s just him, he’s a terror. If a woman did that to a man she would be run out of town with the proverbial pitchfork and forever labelled a harlot (or your preferred name).

I have been subjected to an ex-boyfriend not letting me back in a home we shared (mid-process of us moving out) after chasing me out after he came home drunk and having one of his ‘episodes’, until I squeezed past him in his underwear. Witnessed by his friends, worried as they were but no repercussions.

One ex actually wanked on me while I was asleep, I’d woken just as he was finishing and struck by shock, disgust and fear sat with shame for days until I confronted him. Not only did I not get an apology, I got told that it wasn’t his decision to split up and (I quote) “blaming him will not help if I want to remain friends”. Funnily enough that was not on my agenda. Primo gaslighting.

Friends of mine on dating sites tell me they’re told they’re are a prude if they don’t return sexual advances or ghosted if the messaging doesn’t sound like they’re on a promise. Telling me that 99% of exchanges are about sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I like banter and even inappropriate humour. I’m the first to appreciate a blue waffle gag and I’m definitely not a ‘prude’. But guys, be better. We all have responsibility in regard to what we are tolerating.

I know someone who actually degraded his girlfriend’s physical appearance among all of their friends to score points over a messed up misogynistic agenda. Why were these ‘friends‘ tolerating this? Were pack rules more important?

But shockingly, and worryingly I don’t think these men’s egos even think it’s an issue anymore. They are primed to thinking they are untouchable and it’s acceptable.

We all have a responsibility to each other and the future wellbeing of our friends, children, nieces, nephews and people you may never even come across. “Oh that’s just the way he is”, is not acceptable. Covid isn’t the only pandemic infecting our communities. Please be aware of what you are a part of, even tolerating certain behaviour makes you complicit.

To the men that this applies to, what ever messed up nonsense you tell yourself to justify your actions, think, if this happened to your daughter, would you be ok with it? If the answer is no, than there is a good chance you’re being a perverted misogynistic knobwaffle.