What Happens to the Popular Girls from Elementary School?
The truth might not surprise you...
Disclaimer: All names in this blog have been changed for the protection of the women it talks about.
Why I started writing this blog.
I was working one late afternoon as a waitress. I had recently moved back to my hometown and the restaurant was close to my old high school (Note to self: must move far away from here). During my shift, someone I knew from high school came in... obviously not sober. She was not served anymore, but she did order some food and hung out with her friends playing pool. Being intoxicated, she approached me saying that she recognized me; the conversation ranged from work opportunities, her past trauma (which is actually very serious) and of course, gossip. She was very eager to tell me that my childhood friend Mia is now a stripper. I want to say this surprised me, but I still follow her on Instagram and quite frankly... it didn't surprise me.
She never knew how beautiful she was and she probably still doesn't know. I know her childhood was awful and I never knew how to help her. I'm sorry Mia. She disappeared in high school and moved back a year later. She turned towards a much darker path including drugs, parties and well... I don't know what else because she didn't want to be my friend anymore. A part of me wants to think that she didn't want me going down the same path ... but much more realistically, I probably wasn't cool enough for her anymore. Today, she has one child (much too young to be the reason for her mystery disappearance in highs-school). Now, thanks to fun work gossip, I now know she also works as a stripper. I don't want to shame her for this... I really don't. It's still a job, and a part of me feels like she wasn't given much choice. She had to pay the bills, and her upraising didn't give her the support she needed to allow her to focus on her studies. I also know for a fact that Alyssa was a large part of introducing her to drugs and other activities. With that said, I am officially happy that I wasn't invited to those parties.
The queen bee. I once told someone that I wanted plastic surgery to look like her. I can promise you that I don't want that anymore. I wasn't easy finding information on her. For the most part, she has completely disappeared from her town and from everyone in it. I was at the point where I was thinking about searching obituaries when I found her on a website called "The Dirty." For those of you who don't know, The Dirty is a website that allows people to post warnings to other people about certain people. It's not good that this website exists; it is mostly filled with a need for revenge. With that said, the information I found on there immediately becomes an unreliable resource. However, along with the information Mia has given me about her and with the photo of her that accompanied one of The Dirty articles ... it is safe to say that at least some of this information is true.
Here is some of the information I found. There were two posts made about Alyssa, both were posted on the same day and held mostly the same information. Which means that they were both clearly posted by the same person. Who ever it was, they claimed that Alyssa is "selfish," a liar as she constantly uses men for money... including stealing from them. The person also accused her of having a history of drug addiction, and from the information I got from Mia, I think this one might be true. The rant continued on to say other terrible things about her, but I think I will leave some of that information out for a few different reasons.
She moved to my hometown in grade seven and was immediately welcomed into the popular crowd. Right from the beginning, a few claimed that she was manipulative and generally untrustworthy. She appeared to leave a path of destruction and fights where ever she went... constantly causing her to find a new group of friends to hang out with. Including my group of friends... yay. In her defense, she also claimed to have the not the greatest home living. However, it was small potatoes compared to Mia. I could go on for ages telling you the wrongs she has done in the past... however, all that really does seem to be in the past now. Thanks to small town gossip, I already know that she got pregnant with her long-term boyfriend and almost immediately straightened herself out. While the baby ended up being given up for adoption, the heartbreak (and the harsh realization of her lack of financial support) has led her towards a long struggle on trying to get back on her feet. I have seen her at several different part-time jobs as she struggled with her new life as an adult. Last I heard, she was promoted to a job with benefits and decent pay. I'm sure Kayla will be fine. However, her journey of correcting herself could not have been an easy one.
Why am I blogging about this?
I know that I am really testing the moral limits with this blog, which is why I kept the real names of these young women a secret. I even made sure not to use any photos (with faces blurred or otherwise). However, I decided that this story was justified for two reasons. The first is because I want to help teenagers to understand that being popular might seem like everything at the moment... it's not worth getting hook on drugs for... and it's not worth risking STD's for... Most importantly, it's not worth giving up who you are just so people like you. The second is for both woman and men who are still "stuck" thinking about elementary school and high school. That hierarchy doesn't exist anymore, and you are free now to be whoever you want to be. I hope this information helps someone, even if only half as much as it has helped me.
If you do think that you are on this kind of self-destructive dark path... it's never too late to change the path you are on. It's never too late to ask for help.
Please don't think that I thought their lives were destined to this outcome simply because they were "popular." What brought them here was their drug addictions, lack of respect towards others and their constant disregard of their studies. It's never too late to change for the better. Also, stay in school and don't do drugs. I know that gets annoying, but it's true.