What Are We Remembering on This Day

To those of you from the past few days, who have reached out to me about my time at the Theater, I respect and honor you. To hear so many compliments about my past work life has been a joy, and has brought me laughter. So thank you for all of your kind words. I remain proud of my decision leave, and why I left, empowered by that Duffus.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21, 2020

• Ugh. My eyes opened at 2:00am. And I was wide awake. I meditated, turned on a light, and drank kombucha. I journaled. And at some point I crawled back into bed, and I fell asleep. I have to say that, I have been quite in touch with my third eye chakra lately..

• I reopened my eyes at 6:00am.

• I moved with intention to randomly chosen songs by my iPad's iTunes. Which included "Sentinel Sunshine," Jahta Beat, Chanting with Tigers. Then that was followed by Schoolhouse Rock's "Shot Heard Around the World." I didn't recognize it when it started playing. During the first few moments I thought to myself, SELF!, that's not from Hamilton, is it? And then I realized it was from Hamilton the Guy, not the Musical. I moved for 10 min, 54 sec, for a total burn of 35 calories.

• So then I was inspired to take a Hamilton dance break. "Raise a glass to freedom. Something they could never take away, no matter what they tell you. Raise a glass to the four of us. Tomorrow there'll be more of us. Telling the story of tonight." Made me think of Paul, Rob, and Yvetot in film school. And then I got my Dion/Grobin on, I just couldn't resist, and did 1 lb weighted tai chi to "The Prayer." What a beautiful duet. You know what's even more beautiful? Me having the idea to put my GPS watch on, and tracking 43 burnt calories during my 12 minute performance.

• Phone appointment. Dr. C. Who is very pleased with my progress. We are continuing with our current course of medication. He does not believe that medicinal marijuana is the right form of treatment for my level of PTSD. I've done my research, and I agree with him.

• I baked some canna-oatmeal-peanut butter-chocolate-berry bars for a friend. I swear to you. A really good friend, which is why I'm sharing. And for a moment, I force-of-habit licked a little of the melted cana-chocolate off my finger. And well, the rest of my day rolled out quite nicely. I felt at peace, head to toe man. I had been texting Jay's Best Friend. We were joking about our internet dating experiences. But then I pulled the oatmeal bars out of the oven. And the pigeons on my fire escape were going crazy.

I shared a video call with Jay's Best Friend in Columbus, so he could get the picture as to what was going on here. And we laughed so much. I love that he and I are still in touch. I realized half way through our vid-phone conversation, that on top I had nothing but a sports bra. Eh, we just kept going. You're welcome JB Friend, you're so welcome.

• Today was Yom Hashoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day. I participated in a lesson on Zoom, on a poem by survivor Dan Pagis titled "Written in Pencil in the Sealed Railway Car." The educator left us with two simple questions:

What are we remembering on this day, and why?

What is our responsibility carrying these memories forward?

• I followed the lesson with some home brewed karaoke. During which I burned 78 calories in 20 min, 46 sec.

And Then Late Afternoon Happened

It's hard for me to tell if it was an anxiety attack, or four weeks of quarantine just snapping me, or if it was a combo of both. Luckily, I knew when it was time to take a Klonopin, even though I didn't enjoy handing myself over to that little pill. I felt like I was giving up by taking it. But that is the nature of the beast which I dance with.

I took an incredible nap. It was the kind of nap that I can only take on the west coast, with my head buzzed by the three hour time difference.

I spent my evening creating art, reaching out to friends, and then winding down for sleep time.