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Welcome to Retail Hell

by Jessica Taylor 12 months ago in humanity
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The horrors of retail

Let me start out by saying this "Retail sucks." Now I am a patient woman and I do my best to be kind, even to those who are jerks to me, but, even I have my limits.

This past week has been total retail HELL. Now for those of you who are in the retail chain, I'm sure you get this and I hope it relates, for others I hope this sets you straight. Now I know not everyone is like this, but, there are still people out there who do these things. Keep in mind these are the things that have been accumulated throughout my experience in retail, however, with the sheer stupidity of this week in general, I have lost my shit so to speak.

So here it goes, may you enjoy this rampage. WARNING: THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, AND IT'S NOT PRETTY. HEAVY LANGUAGE IS USED IN THIS. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!

To the woman who makes me price check each piece of her 100.00 order (even the items that have the actual prices on them):

Your attitude sucks, your son is a complete asshole, you make my life a living hell, and I wish I could make you put back the items you leave behind.

To the bitch I spent 20 minutes on the phone with arguing about an item that you are unable to return:

#1. I DO NOT MAKE THE POLICIES

#2. I have no influence over those who do make the policies

#3. Yes; you must have your receipt in order to return or exchange something you purchased

#4. It is NOT my fault that YOU decided to throw away your receipt

#5. I suggest you change the way you treat all those who serve you; we are, after all, the hands that feed you.

#6. Get off your fucking high horse Karen, you are NOT the only one in this world with an issue; furthermore, your "issue" is minor compared to some of the issues some of us have to face.

#7. If you don't like whatever it is you're dealing with, then fix it instead of taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it.

#8. If you're only ever going to be a part of the problem then FUCK OFF!

To the woman who takes the tags off of EVERYTHING

First of all you suck; second, know that I have been charging you more than what the actual price is. And third... NO I AM NOT SORRY!! YOU CHEAT ME, I'LL CHEAT YOU! And you deserve to get everything you give. Good fucking luck.

To the bitches and asshole who think they can steal from me

#1. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW WRONG YOU ARE!!

#2. Know that I damn well see you and I don't give a flying fuck if you think I'm a bitch; you're no ball of sweetness yourselves!

#3. I will call you out and shit on your parade

#4. Keep it up, there's a special place for you in HELL

#5. Karma is a bitch and she's coming for you.

To the woman who comes in, grabs a cart and proceeds to ask me where the carts are

#1. If you are that stupid, please stay home, it's safer for the rest of us.

#2. Understanding you is not in my job description, nor do I have the patience for your stupidity

#3. I hope you never have children; or if you already do have children, I hope to God they turn out smarter than you.

To the gentleman who rips the bags out of my hand as I bag your groceries, knowing damn well that I have 2 fractures in my wrist

Please learn some damn manners, be respectful to others instead of being a fucking jerk, and be mindful of your surroundings and those who have taken the time to assist you.

To the people who are always on the phone when they reach the register

You annoy me so very bad. The words I have to say to you are harsh and I not only want to slap you but I also want to take your phone and throw it in the street.

I mean come on you're missing out on the endless possibilities of a new journey. Not only that, but, it's rude and when we cashiers have to repeat ourselves because you refuse to get off the phone it gets irritating time after time.

To the bitches and asshole that hold up the line, I pray there is a special place in hell for you...

#1. We are too busy for you to go back and forth to get other things while in the middle of your damn transaction

#2. We do have other things to do before we can go home

#3. We cashiers do not give a damn about how an item looks on you, and we sure don't care when you mumble under your breath about your personal lives.

#4. Just pick out your shit, pay and go the fuck home

To the people who leave your buggies everywhere when the cart caddie is less than five steps from you, know we really hate you and your lazy ass antics.

To the people who have separate orders and pay with the same damn card; WHY; JUST WHY. This is stupid and very unnecessary. Not only that but it makes it more difficult for us cashiers and makes other people in the line pissed as shit.

To the lawyer woman who came in.

Know that you always must have a receipt when we forget to take off the security tags for a couple of reasons #1. We need to verify the items were in fact purchased and not stolen and #2. We need to know which cashier left them on so that we can make it a better experience for you by letting them know to take them off.

I do not give a flying fuck if your goddamn necklace costs more than all the items in our store; I do not give a damn if you are a lawyer; I do not fucking care if you do work for some big dick of a Joe. As for your threats; YOU DO NOT FUCKING SCARE ME!!! BRING IT BITCH!!

To the managers who treat me like shit but expect me to overwork myself for your store. Guess what? I have better things to do than to plan my schedule around your scheduling mistakes. And as I work if you cannot treat me with the respect you want me to give you then fire me.

And last but not least to the people who return everything they buy....

We know you do it to make our lives a living hell... And I hope you get hit by a bus..

Peace out motherfuckers.

humanity

About the author

Jessica Taylor

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