Unheralded Heroes

Once, a “friend” if you could call her that made a post on facebook full of mini clips showing all the acts of kindness she was doing.. one act for every year. Allison was pretty, popular, and successful. She projected herself as a good Mormon woman. So naturally, her post exploded with likes and loves. The whole congregation as well as her many other friends couldn’t say enough about her.

I was disgusted. It felt a little too much like “showing off” and “look what a good girl I am.” I even told her so. Predictably, my comment was abruptly deleted. The purpose of the post was very likely to bolster her secret insecurities. Maybe I was just a little touchy since I had recently left that Mormon religion, but maybe I was on to something.

A few short months later I mustered up the courage to leave my emotionally abusive husband. He made my life a living hell. I was at a shelter with my five children, waiting for low income housing to have an available spot.

I left behind a large five bedroom home with a garage and an indoor hot tub. I was not allowed to take anything from the house until court orders allowed. My youngest child had just turned one. Since the court decided to alternate weeks until it could be determined what was best for the kids it was a nightmare. My little one was still breastfeeding and she spent those weeks away from me very sad and withdrawn. Her father used it against me. He merely told me that it’s all my fault for leaving and this is what I get for doing that.

I took the first place that was offered. It wasn’t hard to move in. I had nothing. A Jehovah’s Witness with whom I had been friendly called to check up on me. Upon finding out my situation, she promptly put together a delivery of much needed household goods. Even though I was not one of them. A lady I bough a table from gave me theee more pieces of furniture, out of kindness. There were many kind people who helped me. I forever owe them my gratitude for helping me in such a dark and scary time.

Allison and her husband came to the rescue of my ex. This is typical in Mormon culture. The men are more important than the women. What really disgusted me about that, was when my Father confronted him (over the phone as he lives far away) Allison’s husband admitted to my Dad that he suspected my ex was abusive. I was sick to my stomach over it. How could both Allison and her husband throw me to the curb in favour of a person they suspected of abusing me ?

I later found out, that he had pretended he was going to come back to church to win their support. They offered him a place to stay when it was my turn to be with the children. They gave him legal advice (Allison’s husband is a lawyer) they pulled all stops to help him.

The point to writing all this? The good deeds I cherish the most are the ones that were quiet spontaneous and unheralded. Scripted good deeds don’t feel good.

All people do both good and bad deeds. For different reasons. Of course scripted good deeds still help, amd most of us will take it anyway, but the real heroes are the unheralded ones. The unheralded ones were kind to you, amd lifted you up with no other motive then to lend a helping hand.

I watched a video about a man with a kid pretending to beg for money. Most of the well to do’s passed him by. A homeless man offered him what little he had, figuring they needed it more. It makes sense to me that the people who are the most willing to offer help to the downtrodden are often the ones who have been there. They know how you are suffering. They know how to help. They know pain. They help you because they understand. The rich help you to make themselves feel better, when it’s convenient.

Of course not all privileged people are snobs. Many doctors made their way through school to save and help others in a way that they were powerless to, with their loved ones.

I would like to pay tribute to all the unheralded good doers out there, in whatever station of life you claim. There’s a world full of problems, sadness and pain. Thanks to you, the world is a better place!