Uncommitted Sex is all that Matters

It all starts with a spark.

A single synapse.

One cell collides with another one and thought is formed. "Hmmm. She's cute," or "I'm feeling something for him."

Sometimes that initial curiosity is fleeting. You're at a party or a concert or on Spring break and just looking to exploit every physical attraction to its fullest.

Other times that initial spark grows. You find yourself thinking about the person for no reason.

You begin to entertain the notion that the initial mysterious connection might grow into something deeper and more meaningful.

You hope the other person is experiencing the same physiological phenomenon.

You look for signs. Ideally, words and actions confirm a mutuality.

You kiss. You make love. You define the relationship.

What was once manic, frightening, exhilarating, and uncertain, becomes predictable, stable, cerebral, and less remarkable.

Despite committing to eternal exclusivity and monogamy, that same unpredictable, uncontrollable synaptic collision happens with someone else. 

Maybe you push the impure thought away or allow yourself a brief internal mental fantasy. Perhaps you allow it to grow to the point where temptation starts knocking at the back door. 

For some, every mutual attraction gets explored to its fullest.

With today's stretching and justifying and redefining love to include multiple people, multiple couples, and unattached sex with unlimited partners, it's important to accept reality.

We are not physically designed to partner up with one person our entire lives.

Morality matters until it doesn't.

Everyone lies about sex.

Everyone denies the truth when it comes to cheating.

I beg forgiveness for the following very blunt language and apologize if it offends anyone….but everyone craves fresh dick and pussy.

You know it. I know it. And our girlfriends, boyfriends, and spouses know it.

Why on God's green earth are we still pretending we can lock in the honeymoon stage.

Every honeymoon ends. Nobody can live in that can't-eat-can't-sleep stage forever. We would end up having a heart attack or stroke.

The real mystery is why, despite temptation and opportunity, some people resist, and others succumb.

Some people incorporate their temptations into their fantasies without physically consummating the desire?

Others follow temptation as far as it goes, without hitting the brakes until it becomes an affair.

We all want it. But some people actually do it, over and over again.

Yet and still. No matter how many times someone breaks our heart, we heal.

We remain hopeful.

We keep looking.

We keep swiping.

We keep hunting.

Why?

We know we can barely trust ourselves, how in hell are we going to trust someone else?

We cannot.

We keep striving and jumping in head-first for the same way we love to ride a roller coaster. We need to take risks to feel alive.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, what's it called when we keep getting our hearts broken but keep trying again and again?

And if refusing to remain in a toxic relationship is insane, what's it called when you stay in one? Devoted? Stubborn? Fearful? Stuck?

The bottom-line truth is difficult to accept.

Love is deeper than sex. By the time we become young adults we know whether we can tolerate sexual infidelity or not.

We've got to stop judging other's morality.

For me personally, If I'm in a committed relationship, I don't care if the sex gets so boring watching Police Academy 8 is more enjoyable, if one of us cheats, it's over. 

But that's me.

There are plenty of people I greatly respect, who for myriad reasons, tolerate all types of infidelity and broken promises yet remain loyal to their relationship or marriage.

To each their own.

If someone is happy being single with all its freedom and ability to make unilateral decisions, Hooray!

If someone doesn't feel whole unless they are part of a couple (or "throuple", or "quintouple"), good for them!

Don't bang your head against the wall if you end up with someone whose happiness is defined differently than yours.

If you're lucky you'll end up with someone who shares your values and boundaries.

If infidelity is a dealbreaker for you and your spouse likes to sleep with the pool boy or landscaper or barista at Starbucks, you may still love them, but you will never be happy with them.

Just do your own thing and accept the results.

You will never control anyone else's behavior. If the relationship roller coaster isn't for you, don't ride it.

But the spark is still going to ignite.

And that magical excitement is still going to percolate.

Go for what you want.

You will get hurt.

But don't fool yourself, life is all about love.

The worst that can happen is you'll regret it.

But you'll regret not trying much more.

Here's to that moment when you realize that someone wants you.

Here's to the exact second you realize someone wants your lips on theirs.

Here's to hoping it lasts forever.

Here's to never giving up. 

Here's to love. 

Spark it up…