Turning a New Leaf

by Emily Buehner 2 years ago in humanity

If you could see me now.

There comes a time in everyone's life where we need to close one chapter and create another one. They say when one door closes another opens. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes it feels impossible to rise above and find it. We wait for the world to change around us for too long until we finally realize that it's us that needs to change; only then everything else around you will change. The people we associate ourselves with makes a huge impact on our lives. If we are not happy then we need to change ourselves, the world will not change for us. The universe will work with us but that is only if we put in the work.

Always afraid of change, to make a decision that would change my life forever, but when we do it will it be a change for the better? Too many times my insides were screaming for help, days on end, not knowing what to do, wanting to pull my hair until there was nothing left. The greatest gift we are given is our lives, we need to explore it.

The world can be a great place if we want it to be. There are many things to do and see. New beginnings seem like they are the worst thing that is happening in your life when really it's just another phase of life that we go through. We start out as a helpless baby and slowly grow into a child whose lives are being taken care of by others. Then there's school where we start learning our own independence. Then we have to figure out the rest on our own. What are we going to do for the rest of our lives? Where are we going to live? Do we want to travel, go back to school?

It took me 23 years to allow myself to let myself live the life I want and not let other people tell me different. It hurts to leave the lifestyle we are used to and move on to bigger and better things, but we will thank ourselves in the end. I am changing my life today. I will stand and be seen as I am. I am never looking back but will keep the memories inside. Don't stop the tears from falling. This is who I am and i'm not going to hide.

Courage and kindness will take us a long ways. We will work hard for what we want. I will tell myself everyday that this is the best day of my life. Changing our lifestyle will only work if we believe in ourselves. Some days I don't know if I believe. Sometimes the shadow wins but we need to say what we want to say and let the words become our canvas. I will be brave. Let your dreams be anything but empty.

There was a time I would let myself be free and let my dreams play out. This is that time, I couldn't be more excited and scared at the same time, but this is a new beginning. Let life in. The voice inside my head tells me that my dream is closer than it appears. We need to keep our heads held up high. We work for what we want in life. The struggles we face, the chances we take, may knock us down but never break us. We keep the faith for the uncertain. We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday. I am moving on and letting go, but the story is just getting started.

This is my breakaway. Started in a small town and now I am ready to experience the rest of my life in the city. We can't worry about what other people think about, we need to put our worries and fears away and let our guard down. We are winners, something that blows me away from where I started to where I am now. There are no words.

When one door closes a whole new world is open for you to reach out and grab. We start to fall in love with our dreams but we are blind to see they are right in front of us. Why do we dream instead of making it reality. Dreaming is just an illusion. We see the ceiling but our heads are only held up high as if we could change it. We don't want to wake ourselves from this fantasy. We got to wake up sometime and come back to life. We think life is too much to handle. We won't take anyone down with us and we see our dreams crumble because I am turning a new leaf.

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