Transactional logic in communication

Communication, while possibly spontaneous, is a formal procedure. This is so inasmuch as intelligibility requires a shared sense of the meanings of the words used to comprehend what is said, which brings a familiarity of grammatical idioms, all of which, for a native speaker are imbibed as it were, unconsciously.

There is oral communication, which has its place in the face to face encounter, in exchanges, in meetings by the street asking for directions, and conferences of all kinds. And then there are accounts, which keep tracks of things or alternatively narrate the happenings as registered in memory into a form which can be presented to posterity or a friend.

Each of these have unique advantages. I would require to be able to explain to a doctor for instance as to how a particular wound makes me feel, the kind of sensation a stomach ache may cause, etc. and the interpretation of these symptoms leads to an adequate diagnosis of the issue at hand.

If I had to write a letter to a parent however, complaining of their child’ s behavior at school, it would help to instantiate the instances which led me to make the observation and to explain as to why such behavior, lets say throwing water at a classmate, is inappropriate.

More importantly, we require a multiplicity of registers in which to speak in. For a person engaged in a trade, craft, or anything else for that matter - a familiar with and hence a vocabulary of the wares that it trades in, would be imbibed as naturally as a first language. The kinds of footwear for sale in a shoe shop for instance would require to be discerned by easy reference when a customer asks for a sandal of another size or color, and this would need to be relayed to whoever is manning the stocks at the back.

As a child, it is likely that you may have been asked to describe yourself in school. Maybe you wrote that I am x years old and that I like watching y on tv, and playing cricket with your friends on Sundays. Maybe it was something else.

Whatever the matter, in representing yourself and your interests to someone else you are picking up a valuable skill that will serve you your whole life. Why is this so? Principally because it is important to be able to determine, to say or present in some form, what it is that you want. You will need to do this very often, and being able to do so clearly will help you in every situation.

Let us say that at school, you ask a teacher as to why for example, did a mother in a story not lock her door at night, if she did it in the previous ones. Your teacher may have an answer, but it is important to put forth how it is you see it, so as to allow your teacher and the class to appreciate not merely your question, but also the point of view it is coming from.

Intervening in a discussion, making an observation, a demand, or praising someone, even making a promise will require you to be able to explain how it is that you see things to another, and also why it is that you choose to do what you wish to.

At a shop, while passing by bookshelves or anything else for instance - you may forget as to why you went to the store in the first place. Maybe a new toy or movie caught your fancy and you forgot to buy custard on the way home. It is hard to keep your mind on the task in a world flooded with distractions.

But, even more importantly, even when you are doing nothing at all - it may be helpful to you, to be able to express, at least to yourself, what it is that you have been doing, what your day was like, how does it compare to the one that passed yesterday, to make observations about what you found interesting in it, why you liked it etc. I think any meaningful relationship needs conversations like these to keep them from becoming merely instrumental.

I think it is valuable to discuss what we may want in our lives. I would like to buy, or at least to have a house of my own, and this means searching for one, or having it built, and being able to afford it - all of which requires some time, effort and money. Let us say that you are a cashier at a store, you will require to bill what it is that customers buy, these will help the owner to keep track about which goods are being purchased and which are not - and the owner, or manager will make the appropriate orders so that the store can still sell its wares to customers. Sometimes you may write to such a store placing an order, though many of them have their products, be it books or toys, available on their webpages and you can pick the ones you like. But remember, don’t hesitate to put forth what it is that you want - let us say that you want a cowboy hat and a store is only selling straw hats. Remember you can always go to another store, and even if both the stores don’t have it, you can place an order for a such a hat, if the store has suppliers who make it. Do you see why it is important not to forget why you went somewhere?

These day to day considerations aside, when speaking with your father, your mother, siblings, friends and colleagues - to understand how each of them is situated in their lives - it helps to have a story, a brief idea of who they are, where they are coming from, what makes them anxious, what makes them happy, what they appreciate and what they dislike. This will help you be at ease around them as you will know who it is that you are dealing with, what it is they require and how you appear to them.

Perhaps, with time you may meet many such people, starting with your friends in school - and together you can stitch together how it is that you see the world. This is not easy, and very many people have spent a lot of time trying to do just this, often drawing from sources such as newspapers and magazines, books and fairytales, not to mention poems and songs, it helps to remember beginnings which ring in a tune for some reason.

I sometimes find, when I am in the middle of compiling a number of interviews for instance, that in keeping track of the questions and replies, I forget why I chose someone to interview in the first place. It may not always be a question of distraction. Maybe I just could not keep what brought me to somewhere in mind. This, I believe can happen even with yourself, and it is important to remember who you are - and what it is that you may want to become. I think it is very difficult to get where you may want to if you forget this.

I try sometimes, to tell a stranger what it is that I have been doing, what I look for in people, the things I like, where I have been and how I see the world in general. The world is so full of strangers, and social media brings us closer than ever before. Amidst such interactions, I often encounter calls - advertisements for jobs for example, and you may require one if you want to earn some money, advertisements selling things, ranging from tv sets, laptops, flats, etc. announcements of a new restaurant opening up, news, gossip, and perhaps if you are lucky, discussions of books, and maybe arguments regarding what is right, good, and why it is so. In the midst of all of this, having your own story, even if it is not about yourself, though it can be, even if it is just an explanation, will help you keep track of how it is such a world appears to you.

And you will need to make choices - about where to turn away from and what to turn towards, of what to seek, and remember why you seek it, so that when you get there you don’t forget what it was for. This is very important - and I believe losing oneself to what is bought and sold, or traded in any other fashion is a real danger which those who may be weak willed are susceptible to.

Small practices, such as keeping a diary, maintaining a to-do list, and perhaps, in more specialized tasks, an inventory, a registry, an account, can make your day to day life, and even these specific tasks infinitely easier.

You will encounter a lot of things in your life - I hope that some of those are ideas that move you and people who you are drawn to. Have a good day.