Too Much, but Not Enough

Some will have an issue with us enjoying anything that is not "for Black people”. In my experience, you’re “too Black” for NonBlack folks but “not Black enough” for Black people. This can be such a chore and damaging to your mental health. Some of us just want to enjoy something without having to think about the color of our skin or deal with attacks from racists. Regardless of our feelings and trying to just live our lives, we still end up being “stuck between a rock and a hard place”.

Unfortunately, many other “non-stereotypical Black activities/spaces” come with a lot of negatives.

Kpop is one of the things I recently started to enjoy. However, just like everything else, there's confusion and pressure because many Idols have participated in cultural appropriation or have mocked other cultures/people. When some fans try to call this out, the other fans get defensive and the amount of excuses/hate they send is heartbreaking. (Example: Black Sushi) Most of these fans come from a non-marginalized group, a place of privilege, and/or they just don’t care. There are even self-hating Black fans who will attack other Black fans by calling them names and sending threats. They are so caught up in their Idols, they’re willing to let people use their culture as just some aesthetic in a rap video to “look cool”. Meanwhile, little Black kids are getting sent home from school because their natural hair/hairstyles are considered “inappropriate” or “gang-affiliated” by racist schools. (Ruby Williams; more below)

NonBlack people only wear our cultural hairstyles when they want to “look gangsta”. It goes even farther than that, some will use sun-tan lotion/makeup to darken their skin to look brown, say the N* word, talk about guns when most of these rappers have never touched a gun, shot one, nor been shot at. There are too many artists who aren't about that life yet they think it’s fun to play pretend and dress up as other people’s cultures/lives/struggles. It's more insulting when they make money off it. Many of us fought to keep our cultures alive; we’re still fighting for them today. Plus, Black hairstyles have nothing to do with this music. They are connected to our Blackness, along with other features like our skin. Our appearance is seen as ghetto, theatening, suspicious, etc by default and this has brought harm to Black people. Why not just make the music, dance, and rap without wearing the hairstyles? A lot of times, there's more to Rap/Hip-hop than trying to be “hard”, gangs, drugs, calling women “bitches and hoes”, the ghetto, claiming you're from the hood, guns, etc. But if you truly studied and respected these genres or the artists you look up to, you would already know this. What do you bring to the table that's different? There's already too many people out here who are being fake for fame, don't be one of them. Korea wanted to hold a play about Tupac & Biggie with an all Korean cast

Dezzy March Reacts to H1GHR MUSIC: DNA Remix Jay Park (박재범), YLN Foreign, D.Ark (디아크) ,365LIT, pH1, 릴보이 (lIlBOI), 이영지 ,Ourealgoat (아우릴고트), Choo, & OSUN

Okay....so we’ve kinda touched on one problem but here's part two. I've noticed toxic things in the Black community. Too many to name honestly. Like if a Black person gets joy out of something you don’t expect them to, you’re harnessed with, “You talk White, Act White, This is for White people, Only White people like this, etc. Then they try to revoke your “Black Card” which started out as a joke but has evolved into another toxic belief in our community. So for me, it’s ignorant and there’s a special place in hell for whoever came up with it. How on God’s green Earth are you gonna question or take my Blackness!? The nerve!... If I walk into a store, I’m Black. If I get pulled over by a cop or have to deal with a Karen, oh wait...yep, I’m still Black. I was born Black, will live my whole life Black, and will die Black. There are so many of our people who have to deal with this and not gonna lie, it does affect your closeness to your community sometimes. You feel like you’re being constantly tested, having to prove yourself, or you get pushed out. But if you decided to enjoy something else or defend stuff you care about, then “You must hate yourself”. I don’t hate my Blackness, I’m just not gonna waste my time trying to prove it to you. We should band together on stuff that’s more important but parts of our community knock us back instead of moving us forward. This type of behavior affects our people's self-esteem and they run to another community (which can be just as harmful) for comfort. Just like with Kpop and non-Black fans, you’re the outsider again. This can feel rather lonely sometimes.

There’s SO much more I could write about but honestly, that would take too long. I'll have to write another article. For now, here are a few tips that might help:

1) No one, I repeat, NO ONE can take your Blackness away unless you let them. It is yours and will be with you for the rest of your life. People like that should have no place in your life. Don't feel guilty if you need to let them go.

2) Don’t let anyone put you in a box. There's a whole world ready to explore. It’s good to see what else is out there for you. If you’re into “non-stereotypical Black” stuff, own it. If you’re into “Black” stuff, own that too. Enjoy things and be curious about new subjects and activities. Don’t let anybody shame or harass you for it. (Am I Black Enough?)

3) DON’T tolerate racist people telling you “You’re different than other Blacks” “you’re one of the good Blacks”, "You're pretty for a Black girl", and so on. Please run FAR away from these “compliments”. No good will come from them. You’re more than some cool new accessory. They will use you as a scapegoat when they f*ck up "I have a Black friend....". You don’t want to be the “model minority” token Black friend. They'll try to place you on a pedestal above Black people they don't like and sadly, some let this inflate their ego. You’re not better than anyone else on this planet especially other Black people. You’re just as likely to face hate, injustice, and/or death as those you’re being compared to. Don’t forget that.

4) There’s plenty of Black people who have dealt with the same unfair judgment as you. You’re not alone in this. Find a group with similar interests you can talk to.

5) You can call out people when they make a mistake, but don’t be afraid to fully let harmful people go. Doesn’t matter how great people say they are. If they’re not willing to learn, then Let Them Go. But also, don't "Hate Follow" people. If a person F*ed up but genuinely apologized and made the proper changes, I believe you should forgive or block them for your own health. Continuing to talk about every mistake they've made like that one time five years ago, isn't helping them grow. And it's especially not gonna help you. It's not healthy. Do yourself a favor and unfollow/block. Use that energy to find someone or something else to support instead of being irritated and stressing yourself out every time you see them.

6) On the flip side, be empathetic and understanding depending on the situation and who’s involved. Not everyone knows everything (even though there are people who do know, but they pretend they don’t) Privileged people have the option to walk around with a paper bag on their head. They may genuinely think they’re being an ally when they’re actually hurting you. People say “ignorance is bliss” for a reason.

7) People should stop attacking or sending death threats to those who are willing to educate people. (you know who you are) Others get fed up because your favorite person couldn't be bothered to actually listen and only gives scripted essays/video apologies. They could at least have a conversation if they genuinely don't understand. We can't truly move forward until we do that.

8) Remember, there’s only ONE you. Don’t waste your time being someone that you’re not. Stop trying so hard to assimilate and getting society to accept you. Unless you have to code-switch in order to survive, it's unnecessary. Whatever your outlet is: be it music, dance, comedy, other art forms, etc; Be Real and rep labels-experiences you've actually gone through or have knowledge about. Other people's struggles and cultures are not so you can play pretend, make a profit from it, and/or fit your "trendy" aesthetic.

9) Last thing: Always try to be the best person you can be. Surround yourself with good people that you can grow with. Y'all could help make the world a better place. There’s a lot of terrible things in life but, take the time to notice the beautiful things as well. It will better your health.

Let me know what you think about this post. You can follow, support, and talk to me on all my socials HERE.

Sources:

Texas Student Can’t Walk In His Own Graduation Unless He Cuts His Hair

Young Black Girl Sent Home due to Hair Extensions

Ruby Williams “No child with afro hair should suffer like me”

A Petition for Protection Against Discrimination on Race-Based Hairstyles

If You’ve Always Wondered if You’re “Black Enough,” You’re Not Alone

Black Sushi: A Movement to Attack Black Kpop Fans

Korean Production Company Tries to Create Play about Tupac & Biggie with All Korean Cast

Appropriation or Appreciation? Unpacking South Korea's Fascination with Black Culture

Dezzy March Reacts to “In My DNA” Remix

DNA Remix Lyrics

In My DNA Remix (Redone & Reuploaded)